What sex is like 5.5 months into recovery

Mate i should dust yourself off and re read what you just wrote.

 

What works for you works.

 

I read a lot about neuroscience.

 

hey brother,

although you are trying to help, I don’t think you realise how destructive you also sound.

you have no proof that semen retention is the reason he isn’t healed. I’ll give you my history.

I’m 35
Started PMO at 15 (PMO’d 20 years)
Would PMO 2 times a day
Each session between 2-3 hours of P
Couldn’t get an erection to both Porn and Women
No morning wood since 20
I experienced a flatline for years while PMO’ing
Watched extreme porn and many categories.

I am the definition of sever PIED. The difference is I had no idea porn was the reason for my ED which caused PIED. The moment I found out porn was the reason for my ED, I stopped P and M inmediately, however I did not stop O.

I kept it simple, I said I’m going to stop P and M and still try to O but with real women. I don’t believe O is the issue, I believe it’s HOW you O.

My first attempts I failed at sex, couldn’t get hard and couldn’t O, however I kept trying and believed it will get better eventually. I also didn’t put insane rules like “I can’t O” or “looking at a woman is a relapse” or “looking at kissing scene during a movie is a form of relapse and affects my reboot”.

I am now over 100 days of no P and M (my first time I ever try nofap) and I have the below results.

slept with 5 women since I stated no P and M (no escorts)
Have had successful sex over 25 times since recovering.
Have 100 percent morning wood each day
Erection back to 100 percent
Used a condom every time
Get an erection by simple touch and kissing from a woman.
Never lose my erection during foreplay and sex (100% strength erection)

all this while avoiding P and M and never abstaining from O. I truly believe people put too many rules for themselves around nofap which creates performance anxiety which derives from their PIED. Instead of focusing on the simple things, they focus on every aspect and end up making the situation worse.

there is no proof that abstaining from sex will heal and reboot you better or quicker than someone that is trying to or is having sex.

I will also add that the dopamine release you have while watching porn compared to sex and orgasm with a real woman is much higher levels of dopamine, you can’t compare the two.

all in all, people shouldn't be told they are doing it wrong because they believe in a “monk mode” reboot. I believe the only way to rewire and reboot is to have or try having sex with a real woman and orgasm. I am proof it does work

 

no issue in believing this, I am one of those people that hard very quick results

 

I agree with you brother, some people believe they are helping but they don’t realise how negative they can come off. Read my post on this thread, I hope it gives you hope

 

agreed. There are soo many people here that try helping and are very supportive. Unfortunately there are a few that will push their idea of how a reboot has to be done and if you don’t do it their way, then they criticise your way and start making the claim “this is why you aren’t healed”.

you have no idea how many times I have posted my situation and I’ve been called out as not being honest because apparently I should be struggling with PIED much longer and I never went “monk mode” because I would O with a real woman.

everyone has their way, I really want to help people and share what worked for me, it is the only reason I created an account on this forum because I don’t have PIED anymore, so I gain nothing more than trying to help people and give people are different perspective that might work for them.

you got this brother, keep going at it and I know by the end of this year you will look back and proud of your accomplishments.

 

happy to read this alternate view. For me, mental disorders were much more an issue than PIED. I was ok to bear ED but anxiety, panic attacks, DP/DR & depression was horrible -- for me all these issues were wiped off only on SR. Nothing else worked for me - exercise, meditation, psychotherapy, sleeping more etc etc. I think if O is working for you & you have got ur desired life - then you should follow that path !

 

I hope all these mental struggles have been conquered brother, and you have seemed the right help for it.

I agree with you, most times people can believe their ED only drives from porn, but once they start peeling the layer they realise it could be more mental than it is porn related.

whatever the reasons are, mental health is no joke. I’m rooting for you brother.

 

This is very true, a lot of people resorted to porn in the first place due to urges they couldn’t get from women and it turned into a full blown addiction.

If I were to be honest with you brother, I couldn’t give you exactly how far you are, however I can help shed a bit of light for you.

I believe the best stimulant is natural stimulant. Once you get your body use to to unnatural stimulant then it gets use to it and becomes harder to achieve natural stimulant. Think of it like a sleeping pill, if I take a strong sleeping pill every night, it becomes very hard to go to sleep without the pill because your body has become dependant on it. At 37, if you are healthy, you don’t need the ED pills.

as for Pre-cum bursts before getting hard, it just simply means you are turned on and somewhat ready to ejacukation.

as for the premature ejaculation, this depends of this was something that use to happen even before you had PIED. Some people just don’t last long, even if they don’t have PIED.

you can take any approach you like brother, but if I was to give you advise, I wouldn’t overthink about the “experience” when I’m with a woman. Just go with the flow. A lot of times overthinking during intimacy with a woman crated performance anxiety. Slowly slowly, things should get better, just don’t overthink it.

if I had to guess, anyone that isn’t healed or let’s say “having good sex” after 6 months should get health checked because it most likely could be related to other medical conditions.

do you mind me asking, how often do you try sex? And what are you thinking about during it?

 

I did it very similar to you, I just didn’t have it 2-3 times each session. I would have sex once each sessions and that’s it (not saying this is a bad thing, I don’t believe too much sex can be a bad thing).

If you have stopped watching Porn and don’t Masturbate and do things like edging, then I truly believe it will only get better for you.

I never put a timeframe or asked myself “how long will it take” because I feel as though if I did that then I would overthink it. Even my streak I don’t know exactly how long it is. I know it’s over 100 days but honestly don’t believe in counting as in my mind its a lifestyle change I’m implementing.

I’ll ask you this, before you have sex, even leading up to the night, do you ever think about “how much have I improved” or “I hope I last longer” or “I hope I’m able to feel sensation” or anything along those lines? Because that can create overthinking without realising and can create performance anxiety