For lunch I had Campbell soup and peanut butter sandwich. For supper I had salami and having...ugh an adult beverage. But I am doing okay. Had a nice walk, where I went to some grocery stories. Pretty exciting stuff.
Yesterday night I was in depression, i edged and eventually relapsed after 2 months. It is sad i am still dealing with this in 2024.
Hey, MC! How have you been? I was just thinking about all the old people who used to here but not anymore. But then I remembered, you are still here hehe
Societies always lived under moral standards based on customs, traditions and - most importantly - beliefs.
Since they dropped these values everything became a mess. The main factor for this is money. Filthy money is easier to make and more profitable. Looking at what most people need and making it harder to get, then offer it by the way you want it
It's a very hard day. physically and mentally Tired, exhausted, urges, emotions, a sense of loneliness and emptiness are knocking together.
It's almost two months since my last M relapse. Since then I worked on treating the roots of the problems, that helped and made progress.
When I'm away from edging I feel a lot stable and almost like I am almost out of this addiction loop, but once an edge occurs it puts me under a lot of emotional, intellectual and sexual instability.
I hope this day passes peacefully, I'll work on investing in the rest of the day. And continue my path. I hope everyone here is doing well. Don't give up okay? once you live a period without slipping into these materials you will feel much better than right now in case you are in a relapse period.
I'm really tired zee. it has been a year, and again relapsed.. and still obsessed. I want a direction. I am in a state where I don't know what to do.
The sense of misery doesn't stop. Despite all the efforts in every aspect. They seem like zero. Nothing.
Unfortunately, I slipped to fantasies and edged to things i have not edged to for months. But whenever I edge, i become confused
{and do not obey one whose heart We have made heedless of Our remembrance and who follows his desire and whose affair is ever [in] neglect.} (18:28)
{But as for he who feared the position of his Lord and prevented the soul from [unlawful] inclination. Then indeed, Paradise will be [his] refuge.} (78-79:41)
And so, I'm going to continue my streak. Will take care of the same strategies I started. By keeping my phone clean, and reminding myself with the truth of this addiction and staying busy in life. Until I fully recover and then marry the wife whom I deserve and whom she really deserve to have as a husband.
I was feeling good yesterday, almost like recovered. Today morning i had a lot of urges, when urges pop it means the body has energy
If there is a minute in 24 hours when you can feel good. Then why not for the rest of the day? Stay healthy and patient.