Nofap Aura

Money and success (being famous or well known to public) is what makes your "aura" sky-high and attract women (guess why...).
Not sure about nofap, but long abstinence could make you act in a more "aggressive" way (in a positive sense), meaning that i.e. you speak more freely with a woman, without overthinking "what can she think if I say this or that?"

 

All I've ever known since I was like 13-14 was porn addiction and I can't say that people find me creepy, etc. I went on a date last week and the lady wanted to see me again. And I'm completely active in addiction right now. All I can say is I think it's more about your attitude to each and every moment. Obviously if you are abstaining from PMO that can certainly help and make you feel better about yourself. Of course PAWS symptoms could then come and make thigns worse, even if you are successful in not giving in to your urges. I just think it comes down to your attitude in each and every moment. Everyone here should read the book 'Man's Search for Meaning' if they haven't.

 

This is absolutely true in my experience. And it doesnt have to be that mysterious-sounding either. When Im acting out, I have heavy bags under my eyes from all night gooning wank sessions, I usually smell bad from sweat and O, havent showered b/c Im exhausted from addiction. Then when I go outside, Im measuring women like cuts of meat. THEY CAN TELL. Also, brain fog and fatigue + anxiety means I cant remember their names or stuff...its clearly self-sabotoge in the dating realm.

There are such things as "high functioning addicts." this is a common phenomenon but word to the wise - it never lasts. slowly but surely your secret addiction will eat away at you and your appearance, especially as you age. There is no "enough" with PMO - it will also develop into stranger and stranger fetishes. I used to be just like you - had a "hot" gf and was very successful dating in my 20s while also acting out doing PMO regularly. I thought I could "handle" it.

Now, Im rebuilding my life after failed relationships (partly from PMO addiction) and have developed PIED (i never thought it would happen to me, used to be boner city over here) so I have totally dead snake meat from chronic P use. Dont be like me, stop while you are young and dont let your ability to "fake it" fool you into thinking you are not an addict. Work on nofap + sobriety ASAP and get your life back!

 

I don't know if im correct in thinking this but i think most peeps here blame their problems solely on PMO and having been addicted to it. Now i'm not saying it's not actually harmful, it very much is and can cause neurological damage and gray matter decay, as Gary Wilson has shown. But i think we - individually and as a community - are framing it the wrong way. As addicts of every other substance we use it to numb and forget about the pain of not wanting to be where we want to be in life, and i think as men we are all programmed to eventually end up like this all the way from elementary school. We need to control our impulses and some of our masculinity to live in a civilized society, and that's totally understandable, but we haven't been thought by older generations of men what the outlet for those should be. That's i believe the overarching reason we get addicted to PMO and don't even realise it. Being under the command of someone else until i retire is something i dread and im barely in my 20's. I'm not suggesting a revolution or something, i believe hierarchies exist for very real reasons, but i believe everyone, and espescially every man, has to have an own purpose and results of efforts to call his own that at least somewhat impact his life. The finding of that purpose is where a lot of us get lost unfortunately.

Not directly related to what you were saying but i've had these thoughts for the forum some days now. Im by far not the first to express them but in here it is not expressed enough.

 

There was one time I was walking outside, and 30 people all came out at the same time and were staring at me. I've quit porn, but trying to stop masturbation.

 

Im not sure I totally follow this. A huge part of PMO recovery is in replacing the addiction with positive outlets and finding better purpose and direction in life. It's also a big part of SAA. It's literally discussed all the time here.
am I missing something?

also, this is pretty off topic from OP...

 

I wouldn't say it's emphasized as a huge part especially here. I can't have an opinion about SAA cause I haven't been in one.

I see people treating this problem as a problem of itself (counting day streaks, doing challenges etc.) instead of what it actually is, a suppressant of all the actual problems in their lifes. Maybe it works for some but i have a hard time believing it works for most

 

Yes, i made the very same experience. Repeatedly! When after 10 years of marriage I had suddenly and unexpectedly noticed that colleague had a crush on me (and me on her), I made the connection only months later: It happened few weeks after having been caught masturbating, so I had been a few weeks on no-PMO. - Years later I discovered Nofap, did a try for a few weeks — and ended up flirting with success the weeks after. On my latest streak it sort if feels similar: more attention from ladies. Don’t ask me about a scientific explanation (my posture? my pheromones? my pupils? Or just my increased attention to girls who would have always looked at me without me noticing it?). No clue why. But it’s kund of nice ..

 

I cant speak to your experience of forums, but mileage will vary here depending on what posts and sub-forums you read. From what I've seen of the long-time fapstronauts and people with > 7 days in recovery (and years on the site), this is brought up frequently. But this is of course, a place full of human suffering and people that are confused about addiction, new to recovery, etc.

I recommend checking out SAA and Terry Crews "dirty little secret" series on Youtube. They talk about what you're describing. Also, therapists, nofap coaches, and trauma healers of all varieties focus on it as essential to recovery as well.

and I agree with ya. There is often too much emphasis on counters and challenges. But also, nofap is not a substitute for therapy and trauma healing work. There are limits to what it can provide. I think nofap, SAA, FightTheNewDrug, and therapy are all part of the recovery whole. Each plays a separate, complimentary, and supportive role. We are lucky to have them

 

When I meditate and let God enter my heart.... AND abstaining from PMO... AND having high testosterone... BAAM! Yes I can assure you, I get a very energetic aura. I can easily speak to women, flirt with them when convenient etc. Only problem is only without PMO the attractiveness is not enough. As mentioned here before, having a good income also boosts your self-esteem and alltogether you are the jackpot for them, yes

After fapping at least I speak for me, I can not hold eye-contact and get social anxiety for some days.