Hello, I'm aware that something similar like this has been posted in the past, but I would like to share my experience. I wasn't sure where to post this so I am writing it here. I'm a 19 year old male and for as long as I can remember I've been experiencing personality changes every time I ejaculate/orgasm. Now I don't mean those temporary feelings of happiness, laziness, sadness, or even guilt as some people feel. I mean my actual personality "permanently" changes, at least until the next orgasm. This personality change can range anywhere from becoming shy and empathetic or becoming a confident charming person. To give an example. Last week I masturbated and afterwards I was feeling great. Good amount of energy, getting things done, had smooth conversations, magnetic, positive throughout the entire week. I see how people respond to me when I'm like that. Guys will laugh at my jokes, and I'll get along better with them, and girls become easier to talk to and text me frequently. HOWEVER, after I masturbate it becomes a game of personality roulette. Like which personality am I going to be until my next orgasm. I could potentially become an opposite of a person. Lethargic, anxious, insecure, etc. To clarify, the example I gave is just two opposite ends of a spectrum and not limited to just those two types. I could become someone in the middle who just feels content, chill, relaxed, but not necessarily full of life or vice versa sad and insecure. There is no real consistency besides the consistency of change. Its strange because everyone I know just acts like them all the time. Yes they can have off days or emotional days but you know they're still the same person. As for me, people can get worried, distant, and confused. I know this might sound ridiculous and perhaps even amusing to some people. Its a big problem for me though. If I'm one type of person this week, but next week I rub one off and again change personalities, people might believe I'm treating them differently. I might not be the same guy who the girl thought was her type, only to be confused by my personality change after an orgasm. I do not have depression nor am I bipolar. My personality just simply changes after an orgasm and it stays that way until my next one. Furthermore, my memory becomes really cloudy after ejaculating/masturbating, and when I wake up the next day, I can barely remember what happened the day before. Sometimes it's hard knowing that I'll never always be the same person, and that in one day my attitude, mood and the way I act could completely change. I'm also afraid to tell my parents as I'm not sure what they'll think and if they'd even take me seriously or not, same goes with my friends. It also doesn't help as I have big exams coming up, and struggle to remember important information. I'll tell myself that It's stupid and that it's all in my head and just a placebo effect, but nothing works to fix it. Anybody going through or gone through the same thing? And have you found a solution to fix it?
I thank you for being brave enough to post that. There are some parallels when it comes to drug addiction and masturbation. I watched a documentary a few years ago that said that, for a chronic masturbator, their desire to masturbate is equal to the desire to use heroin for a heroin addict. Drugs and fapping both have withdrawal symptoms (like getting irritable or lonely until you can get your next hit/fap). I find that I get angry a lot easier when I've gone without fapping for a significant amount of time. I can relate to what you said, to a certain extent. If this problem of changing personalities has been controlling you, I recommend talking to a doctor about it. I know it's embarrassing, but your well-being is valuable.
I can 100% relate to everything you said. Everything. Just know that somewhere out there, there is someone (me) who has those exact same thoughts as you do. I'm surprised reading this! I'll add my own ponderings to your revelations: Between every O, I am a different person, either shy me, smart me, confident me, off me, it is completely random. And after O'ing - and thus shifting my personality - the memories and the knowledge I amassed during the previous "cycle" (let us call each personality between an O, a cycle) becomes clouded and distant. Almost as if it fades away. This has made my uni life extremely hard. Like, people don't understand how I don't remember anything from subjects I studied two weeks ago - when I know it is because that cycle, with the mood, personality and memories of it, are all almost wiped. This will sound crazy to those who can't relate, but it is the truth. My life is a roller coaster because of this.
It’s a fact that personality changes over time, so yes. My personality changed drastically at about age 11 when I first got hooked on porn. Actually, the best way to describe it is that my personality was deleted, like a computer file. I got extremely sullen, introverted, preferred staying inside all day, could not make friends, had nothing to say, obsessive about girls but not talking to them, all of a sudden. I always thought it was an effect of puberty but puberty does not have that effect usually. Now I see it was the porn.
Its made me so happy that other people face the same issues that I do, and like you said about the memory issues, I can barely remember anything I learned last week. I remember a few details but overall my grades have significantly dropped due to it. Even just knowing that it's not just me going through this is comforting in a way, as I know there has to be a way to fix it.
I agree, but honestly I feel like they'll diagnose me with some sort of crazy diagnosis and that they won't really understand as it only effects a small amount of people.
