No one is gonna care and I am just going to rant. I’m just writing my thoughts right now. I woke up this morning about 2 hours before work like I always do and hopped in the shower. I prefer waking up at least an hour prior to work. Not because I take that long to get ready, I can get ready in 15 minutes. I wake up extra early for work because I hate the feeling of having to rush to work. I like taking my time before work, just loitering around after my morning routine and ease my way into work. But today, I just did not feel like going into work after showering. I just couldn’t get myself to get dressed up. I decided to say fuck it, and texted my boss that I’m not going in today because I didn’t feel “well”. I don’t why I had such a sudden change of heart and decided to not go in today. I guess it’s because I’m tired/burnt out. But I’ve only started this job back in July. I can’t be burnt out so soon. How do people even work full time for years on end like it’s not a problem? Even with vacations and holidays in between, I still can’t enjoy that because I know I’d have to return to work. I hate the fact that I have to sit and do things I don’t wanna do for 10 hours, 5 days a week, all for some green paper. Get some green paper just so I can survive. I did not ask for this for this. All I ever want in this life is to be free but no, I can’t have that. Back then, I had to go to school and now I have to go to work. Both are a pain but work is way worse. The only way out of this is an early retirement and finding a way to become financially independent through investing or saving like crazy. I’m just so tired of this…
Many people don't like their work, but poverty is worse, so go to work! I would suggest changing jobs, change industries, whatever, but find something that interest you. I know that finding interesting work is not easy, but it's the only way to help how you feel. Good luck, I worked many different jobs for 40-years straight. While I sometimes envied those that stayed at one job forever, I couldn't do it. I was usually bored in 6-months. That being said, I made money and now I'm retired at the age of 64. Guess what, I'm going to look for more work soon, because when you find work you like, it's a great thing to do and you make $ while doing it.
I know that I cannot change the way our system works no matter how much I despise it. Instead, I will try to lessen the burdens of work life. My goal is to pivot into a work from home job since having to commute in terrible traffic, and physically being at the office for long periods and pretending to be busy for the entire shift is what I hate most about my job. A WFH job will solve many problems.
It's the quagmire of modern western society lol. We have it so good, yet how we get "it" is mind-numbing and hard. I'm younger than you, and don't have any real wisdom or insight, but I'm right there with you on these feelings about work.
Careful, this might get out of control. Start looking for another job, if this one isn't for you. You have no obligations it seems so you have a lot of freedom
I went to work yesterday and today so I think I got the rhythm going again. And this is the best job I’ve ever had in terms of pay and work life balance. I’ve had many jobs before and I’ve always tried looking for better but over time, it’s all the same and gets mundane and repetitive. I see old men walking to work everyday and it depresses me to know that even at that age, they’re still bound by the chains of work. I strive to avoid ending up like that, I will not be apart of this rat race for life, fuck that.
I believe its a balance issue, we need to spend time in meaningful relationships, calming time like a nature walk, or just being as sober as we can possible be. you may have more motivation and desire to work if you can strike the balance you need, I had to get a journal to remember what helps and what does not, I confess its not easy for me either still.
I call out of work very often, but I'm lucky as I am apart of a strong union and the rules for sick days are clearly outlined. If the system is made to be exploited. Exploit it.
