Baby Reindeer series made me think about a lot of stuff

HustleandMotivate · Apr 28, 2024

Had not posted here in a while. After 100 something days PMO free in 2023 I quit trying to quit. Not that I would not like to not have this urges. I have written my story here before. I have talked to many people and read their stories.

With all that said. That series is the only way for me to describe how I have felt for the last 10 years. I have never been raped though and obviously not the stalking part. Yet my descend into porn, sex, femdom addiction can only be described by this series. I had never seen anything or read something were I said to myself. Damn, my story is deferent but that is the closest thing to what I have felt. The worst part or pathetic part is that I did it all to myself. I did not get raped by a man like the character in the series. I asked my gf’s, dominatrixes and Trans women to, well you must imagine. The shame and guilt is what really fucks us up. It’s what makes us feel less of a man. The paradox of loving something that we hate in ourselves.

I read somewhere that the only way out is through. Some crazy shit I have used to stop trying to quit. I have told myself that like people that cosplay and love anime. I want to live in my BDSM fantasy. That’s fucked up I guess. But what can one do when it calls us since we were young. Had no trauma. My reality became my trauma. My desires. Maybe it was porn but I can think back before and I am pretty sure I always had those urges.

just trying to spark a conversation of the series, trauma and desires. Peace to everyone. Just a rant.

electriceye · Apr 29, 2024

It’s seems that our minds create a certain desire or trauma whether we want it to or not. From spending enough time thinking that what your doing or how you feel is wrong.

Meshuga · Apr 29, 2024

Trauma may or may not be part of it, but I don’t believe any part of the BDSM fetish is natural. It’s definitely a common trap to fall into; a lot of people’s minds break the same way. However, I don’t think it’s natural or good, and I don’t think people who are already 100% healthy and psychologically well adjusted even begin to be attracted to it. I think the desire to be demeaned and abused is a thing that happens to you, not something anyone happens to be born with.

People have intrinsic value. There is no scenario where a person deserves to be humiliated. If you have a problem with your life, it’s okay for others to help you identify that problem and come up with a plan to fix it. It’s not okay to abuse you for it, and the fact that some people’s brains are convinced to “enjoy” abuse speaks to the brokenness of the world.

You may not have had something extreme done to you that caused you to fall into this trap, but you were convinced of a lie about yourself somewhere down the line. It’s going to take some work to learn & believe the truth, which is, you have inherent worth, and potential to do great things and be a great person. You don’t have to accept this identity of inferiority, even if you sometimes respond sexually to it.

cleaningupmyact · Apr 29, 2024

Meshuga said: ↑

Trauma may or may not be part of it, but I don’t believe any part of the BDSM fetish is natural. It’s definitely a common trap to fall into; a lot of people’s minds break the same way. However, I don’t think it’s natural or good, and I don’t think people who are already 100% healthy and psychologically well adjusted even begin to be attracted to it. I think the desire to be demeaned and abused is a thing that happens to you, not something anyone happens to be born with.

People have intrinsic value. There is no scenario where a person deserves to be humiliated. If you have a problem with your life, it’s okay for others to help you identify that problem and come up with a plan to fix it. It’s not okay to abuse you for it, and the fact that some people’s brains are convinced to “enjoy” abuse speaks to the brokenness of the world.

You may not have had something extreme done to you that caused you to fall into this trap, but you were convinced of a lie about yourself somewhere down the line. It’s going to take some work to learn & believe the truth, which is, you have inherent worth, and potential to do great things and be a great person. You don’t have to accept this identity of inferiority, even if you sometimes respond sexually to it.
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This. I also have a post about BDSM from a couple weeks ago. Dont forget that the P industry and P apologists push BDSM a *lot* - it's massively profitable for them and taps into traumas and aggression as new sources of dopamine (or dopamine + adrenaline, which is like adding crack to your heroine, very bad with PMO).

no one is born to enjoy BDSM as the post above mentions. Just because something "feels good" doesnt mean it is "good for you." If that was the case, none of us would be here. and let me just put this part in caps:
FETISHES CAN BE UNLEARNED.
the P industry never wants us to know / remember that. Fetishes are not some permanent thing in our DNA, despite what the industry wants us to believe. They can be changed and made into loving, healthy bonds with other humans.

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Baby Reindeer series made me think about a lot of stuff

HustleandMotivate Fapstronaut

electriceye New Fapstronaut

Meshuga Fapstronaut

cleaningupmyact Fapstronaut