Greetings i'm 21 yo, European career student. First of all i want to clarify i'm no expert and this is just a script printing some 23 pm thoughts. I'm currently on a 5 days streak... I got heavy urges on a triggering moment. Then i thought, how is my determination so low? I don't refer to the proper act of ending up relapsing or not... But the intention itself, the urges. My point is the following-- If i decided, if i choosed, if i willingly picked the rational choice of stop fapping how do i even have urges? Why do i have do endure it and not just supress them? If i really had a strong will i would realise and instantly supress them but instead of that i have to endure it, how is that possible? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HERE COMES MY REALIZATION ABOUT THE REAL PROBLEM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I started thinking and i came to the following realisation. Everybody want to stop fapping for seemingly benefits: noFap--more energy -- more gym, more social, more girls --- better sex, better grades, better work, more interesting interactions --- Happiness. In the end why would anybody want to improve if they don't find it interesting or they find some benefit? That's it, you want benefits since it gets you closer to a state where you can be even more HAPPIER. You want as ultimate GOAL having a beautiful wife, nice respectful kids, a well paid job, ownerships... That's on your own definition what would bring you happiness. You might even be persuing noFap to get a state of mind in which you will be happy with yourself, which in itself is the persue OF HAPPINESS !!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO IN THE END EVERYTHING IS ABOUT BEING HAPPY, or is it? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here comes my own personal theory. A most important subject of matter than NoFap is the inner self. The persona, personality however you wanna call it. The difference in BEING one way or another. The difference in CONCEPT that comes from POLARITY in personality. Happiness isn't the ultimate goal for everyone, just for "average personality" people. On polarised individuals isn't even a matter of being happy, they have their own thing that tickles their mind and they want to live life that way. I call that "FOLLOWING THEIR CONCEPT". Let's illustrate it with 2 opposite personality which are uncommon. 1. Stoicism: a man that doesn't think. He realises of things. He can think or not at will, he apprecietes their surroundings, decides quickly and doesn't give a fuck about anything. Everything simply is. He won't care which outcome comes in the end, he couldn't make much of a difference but still tries his best simply becouse he can. He is by definition happy becouse he can and thus he is, he doesn't try things, he does it and if they don't end up that way, it simpy happened. Of course they won't masturbate since it gives no benefits, just pleasure. He might try it just for experimentation 2. Helenism: nowdays most young media washed on tikTok or isntagram follow a soft version of Helenism. This phylosofy follows appreciates every course of action as the one that brings the most happiness. Of course they will masturbate and will live carefree of worrys. Despite being poor or rich they will appreciate life and they will be happy since breathing itself is a blessing. They will experiment all emotions possible and get the fun, angry, greed, sorrow... As they are. Difference between true helenistics and nowdays youngsters is that they "fall into the bottom at will", they wont care about social standarts and shape sociaty around them while still having their individual morals. UNDERSTANDING: they are both crazy fellas. They both will be surely happier than you will ever be by being "normal". Happiness comes in the following format. The weirder you are the hardest it will be to fit on sociaty but greatest happiness MIGHT be experienced, by following your own path, by HAVING A CONCEPT. By being a very rude guy, a very respectful and nice once, by being strong willed, stoic, helenistic... Whatever it is their are extreme and unique in their own way and that' it. It's a great bid. You might perfectly fit in society as a perfect shapped puzzle piece in the outter layer on the big picture or be completely ostratized and replaced. On the other hand THE MAJORITY OF INDIVIDUALS ( probably including yourself ) are... Normal. That's perfectly fine but the resemblance would be the one of a puzzle piece that isn't made of wood... But plastic or any maleable material. One that can fit here or there around the puzzle. It brings THE MOST BENEFITS TO SOCIETY but not to yourself since a very maleable piece looses eventually where it centroid is. That piece can no longer differentiate what are it's weight, it's corners, it's length... Who is that piece? SO IN SUMMARY: being weird, polarized, individual... Makes one a more rigid, stronger piece. A piece harder to fit in society, in the puzzle but it's centroid it's well defined and know about itself. They are sure of themselves and thus can experience happiness in their own way, not the one sociaty or media wants them to. On the other hand " normal people" is too maleable that they looses themselves and their original form as a piece, their shape. OF COURSE INDIVIDUALITY BRINGS CONFLICT, difficult to gather all the pieces and thus advance as civilization... But in the end people don't want to think. Pieces are way too shaped that these messeges would never reach them and hence this messages is a form of "HOW TO REACH HAPPINESS BUT DON'T LET THIS MESSAGE SPREAD TOO MUCH OR IT WOULD BREAK OUR SOCIETY"... Made up of well shaped, non thinker pieces of puzzles. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO IN THE END !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you want to experience... And live properly withour repentment. Be weird, recover you true self. Re discover yourself. In my case self improvement worked since i'm fking crazy and i believe in myself. I believe in the extreme me based on extreme effort. I feel ultimate joy when i do crazy things and people around me tell me i'm out of my head. I believe noFap serves the pourpose of curing my PIED, grant me more energy, make me feel more of a Spartan... Which in the end facilitates me doing what i really like doing. Crazy stuff. Thanks for everyone reading this. Open for any opinions.
