Over 100 days of NoFap

Hey everyone, thanks for the kind words, I hope all of you are going to reach your goals and if my story helped you getting there, well, you're welcome I'm happy to know I can pay back to this forum since it helped me so much.

This is sort of a late reply but I haven't been on this site in a while (it's kinda part of me trying to take my mind fully off of sex & PMO). I'd still like to reply to this:

I did feel a chaser effect after I had sex on day 60. It was freaking insane, I couldn't focus on anything, I could only think about the night before. BUT: I didn't want to MO, I wanted to have sex again. That's probably the greatest change that I've gone through with NoFap. Sure, even now after 5 months, urges to MO and sometimes even urges to watch P again do come back. But they fade quickly and 90% of the time, I'm urge free. The only thing I find myself longing for every now and then is real sex with a real woman.

You are right though, controling fantasies is definitely the hardest part. I don't have a perfect recipe for fighting it and I'm still struggling with this, too. To some extent, I do see fantasies as a good thing though and think it's unrealistic to try to reach a point where you don't fantasize about anything at all and strictly stay with what's real. I mean, that's what your brain is for: being creative and imagining things!

For example, I do sometimes fantasize about how I would approach a girl in a bar / on the subway / in the park and so on. I do this in a somewhat... analytical way though. Like you might think about all the different ways another person could respond before you're getting into an argument with that person. Of course, you shouldn't get lost in these fantasies. The best way to get better at talking to girls is real practice. But it helps me being prepared and I've actually found myself using some of the things I said in made up situations in real life.

BUT: it's pointless to lay in bed and think about sex in completely unrealistic ways. And I remind myself of that whenever I catch my thoughts wandering off. It doesn't benefit me in any way. What also helps calming my mind in these situations is literally telling myself "You're not a 13 year old boy anymore. You're a grown-up man. Act like one." So the only time I do think about sex is when I think about the things I'd like to do with the girl I'm currently dating. Those fantasies are never very visual though, I just think about what I could do to keep everything creative & fun with her.



So anyways, thanks for all the replies, it's very motivating for me to see that my success motivates others! And it's also a great ego-boost

 

Totally agree with your point. NoFap shouldn't be about counting days on your counter, it should be a general way of living that is implemented into one's life like breathing and eating. However, most of our journeys start off like mine, with a specific goal set and a counter running. It's a good tool to use to get started, just gotta move past it after some point. When I wrote this story, I was super happy I made it so far and I wanted to shout it out. I thought I made it clear in "chapter 7" that I don't want to continue seeing this as a contest - neither for me alone nor between others and myself.

As for "rampant fantasy" - I don't really know where you got that from. I've been talking about fantasizing in a couple of other threads and mostly in a somewhat positive way. But "rampant" is far from what my fantasies look like. Like I said before in this thread, I do still think about sex but it is very different from what it used to be. But yes, it is still hard to control at times, and it's still a challenge I'm working on.

Dude... What can I say. I don't pretend like I'm a superhero. I AM a goddamn superhero. Compared to what I came from, the inexplicable luck with women, the attention and attraction I've been experiencing - that IS a super power to me. I'm sorry if I haven't made my point clear enough for you to see that I don't mean to be gloating at all though. What I've been trying to say here is that anyone can reach this point! I'm trying to explain my positive experience to give out motivation to others!

While writing this certainly was partially motivated by self-righteousness, since I was super happy and also proud of myself, I am convinced that these kind of stories DO benefit many people trying to beat the addiction. See, what really got me going when I first started NoFap was a success story by another fapstronaut (giggleshmack). He reported in detail on his positive experiences and that made my motivation shoot through the roof! I want to keep these kinds of stories alive on here so others can make similar experiences. From the feedback I've been getting on this story, I think I'm right about the way I went about this. Hell, maybe it's just my style of writing that throws you off but I like to keep everything with a little wink & smile on the side, it's just life

Good day to you, too!