In all the times that I have relapsed, it's always my conjoinment fetish (attraction to two-headed or more people or people stuck in a situation like that) that causes it. It really frustrates and annoys me because I can go two weeks without PMO but my mind just keeps on insisting that I need to look at some girls sharing the same body which always hits me back to zero. Some help?
I've never heard of a conjoinment fetish. How did you get that fetish — did you always have it, or only after you started to get into porn? When your mind starts insisting with unhelpful thoughts, what does help is to remember that you own your thoughts, which gives you the right to do what you want with them. Do you want to obey those thoughts? Do you want to listen to them? Or do you want to tell them to get lost? When you get an unhelpful thought, the first thing is not to fight it. When you fight the thought, the primitive part of your brain fights right back, and guess which part will win in the end? Instead, start by acknowledging the thought. It's a part of your brain that thinks, for whatever reason (probably the addiction), that it is helping you to remind you of your fetish. So, say something ilke, "Thank you for the thought, but that's the old way and it doesn't work any more. Instead, today I'm going to concentrate on being a better person and doing my studies" (or whatever works best for you). You can also change the voice that you hear. When that insistent thought comes up, imagine it in the voice of Mickey Mouse (or any voice that you can't take seriously). If you hear your own voice saying, "Look at a conjoined girl," you might take it seriously. But if you hear Donald Duck saying the same thing, maybe you'll laugh at it before replying? Good luck. You deserve better than this.
Thank you for the advice. Conjoinment is one of those very unpopular and niche fetishes that hasn't exploded like inflation (pun intended). I probably got the attraction when I was young so I assume it was that attraction that brought me into PMO in the first place when I was 10. What can I do when mental images of my fetish appear? It's like a mental powerpoint is showcasing me images of that all the time and it really arouses me. It annoys me because it just appears any time during the day, especially when I'm bored. I'd also like to admit that I used to draw conjoinment pieces (albeit, not naked or anything else extreme) and post them on DeviantArt. Since then, I made efforts to steer away from the fetish by deleting all artwork depicting it. Unfortunately, people who solely follow me because of that fetish still follow me, and the fact that I know their usernames tempt me into looking at conjoinment images that they have on their accounts.
I can only talk about what works for me because I got a fetish too, however it is weakening since starting my reboot. It has already been gone completely once, after abstaining for 30+ days. When an urge/fantasy with fetish hits try to remain conscious of your surroundings. Don't drift off into fantasy-land. Look at your shoes and think about their colour and shape or look into the sky and count the clouds. The trick is "to shift attention" as in shifting your focus. If there is a fly flying around you you can either waste time on focusing on it and hunting it down or ignoring it and doing stuff. Its basically the same with fantasies and urges only with indulging in them rather than hunting the fly. Another thing I do is "taking a step back". When you a fetish-fantasy or urge hits I mentally take a step back and leave the scene. It's like I am not there where it's happening, in that room. I imagine myself turning away from the scene and walking further and further away while the scene becomes smaller and smaller until it is gone. What I also do is overlapping the scene/fantasy with a big, red "STOP" sign you know from traffic. Starting meditation will also help you a lot with combating fantasies and urges. Why don't you just filter the word conjoinment or block devinatart alltogether?
I love what @UnrepentantAntiHero says, such as the STOP sign. You can play in other ways with the images. Does it play like a movie? Press the "pause" button. Is it in colour? Drain it of colour so that it is in black-and-white. Does it have sounds? Press the "mute" button. Is it close up? Move it far away. Further. Further still. Until it's just a dot on the horizon, and then gone. Just as you can play with sounds in your head, so you can also play with images in your head.
I will do that, block the word conjoinment. Unfortunately, those fetish accounts will still follow me and I can't block DeviantArt since my account is there and I need exposure for my regular artwork.
You know how many things I have in my mind which I remember and I can type it in right now and get into a black hole? Why would I do so? Keep them remembering if it doesn't disappear but don't ever act on it. That's building strength. I remember some things for more than 15 years now and never looked at them. There has to be one day when you disconnect from this compulsive behavior of acting on your impulses.
When you go to the website, take three deep breaths beforehand with your eyes closed. Relax. Concentrate on your mission, and why you are there. And heed what @4DCreator says.
For me after 50-60 days I even begin to forget/ or even have already forgotten the name of porn stars I used to watch most. If you truly resist any and all fantasies while on hard-mode the results are incredible.
