How do you tell your SO?

Blurt it out. Do it now. Do it as soon as you can. The longer it's a secret, the worse it is, regardless of how you get the secret out. There isn't a good way; stop looking for one and just do it.

 

Well, one relationship was saved by fucking up my marriage. "That'll do, pig," he said to himself. "That'll do."

 

Hey Deadpool2095,

Sorry I didn't see this sooner. You can't un-ring the bell, but you do need to be aware that she may be traumatized by the whole exchange. I have some other posts on this. Letting her know is important but she may be in denial about the pain at this point. Be ready for her to start feeling that pain, and talk with her about it. You are the only one that got to "unload" now she is having to deal with it. Tread gently and stay clean, turning back to PMO can cause more trauma and more questions.

 

Good for you for coming clean! I believe you unquestionably did the right thing.

I do agree that it may take some time for her to fully process this. Follow her lead and go at her pace. My husband enouraged me to get therapy after he told me, and that was very helpful. I was all gung ho supportive wife ready to "fix" everything, and it took me a long time to remember to stop and consider my needs and emotions. Therapy helped. We also have a support group here on nofap for spouses of addicts, if she is interested.

 

Also, if you're like us, your marriage needs some work. Porn is a true intimacy killer. I'll tag you in a post about strategies that have helped my husband and I immensely.

 

That's awesome that you're educating yourself on this from her perspective. She is welcome to join our group, if she wants too. We have wives and girlfriends and male partners of PMO addicts are welcome too, although none have joined yet, that's less common but does happen. Anyway, good luck! Don't let this steal your future and the future of your love! Kick it now!

 

PS FANOS isn't only for married couples. I tagged you.