I had crossdressing/adultbaby interests starting around 7/8 years old. When I was 12 the interest became a sexual fetish, and I started looking at sissy porn. I hated my desires and wished I could change them… I still do. Eventually I got married at 23 thinking having a wife and regular sex would alleviate the issue(stupid reasoning) But I’m still struggling as if I’m still my 12 years old self except Now I’m 34 and worse off as ever… I’ve tried therapy, talking about it, waning myself off, cold turkey. I feel like a lost cause, perhaps some of us just don’t see the other side.
I understand the 'lost cause' feeling. I've had a half year of therapy, online support group involvement, tons of reading and talking but it's still a battle. Don't give up.
Fact: this kind of stuff gives you a strong and shocking dopamine/oxytocine/endorphin kick. It is really a drug. I know this happy feeling what it is causeing, I know the shaking when the affects starts to get weaker, and I know the fallback. But I know that it is only long-term, when you repeatedly give it to yourself. If there is no other chance, then go 100% offline. Leave the house, go to yoga or dance class, or any kind of class, if you have money or possibility. Or just go out to the nature, and walk/run as you wish, but be offline for days. Step by step you will feel the difference. And I love all of the HIIT trainings on the youtube, when I do one for 10-15 minutes, I feel menthally stronger too. Do not give up. Now that the whole in ternet is full will visual manipulation, it is really hard, but possible to step forward. At first you have to see yourself without this sissy bullshit influence. This is the most important.
