26-April-2024 Study : Nearly nothing. My focus is very weak. Quran : Missed today. Exercise : Positive Slept : 11 PM I think. Woke up : just before sun-set. Reflections : Either be available to people around you, or move to a proper place to focus on something worthwhile. Afterall, its a solo journey. Beauty Is For The Burning Star! .......... Since the Second day of Eid, my heart has been upset, like up and down. As I visited my mother again, going there in that city and hospital, there is something that made me sad, it was a feeling of responsibility because as a man, as the eldest son and being myself, I can sense alot about my irresponsible behaviour in the past and consequently lost ambitions. I usually stay, LOST IN MIND ! But afterall, whenever i go there with my mother or to visit her there in terms of her treatment, I come back with some blessings. This regret for the past averaged performance and ambitions, hurts but also helps stay awake and attentive. ........ A person who strongly desires something may become entranced by its appeal, becoming vulnerable and missing out on precious moments and opportunities. Patience for something we have no control over, is regarded as very courageous tasks by Allah Himself. But the point is If we do it, at some point or other. Ahh... sky, planets and their silence please me alot. Their vastness is the opposite of my self being cramped. Silence is the opposite of peoples bad and useless arguments and judgements. And being a whole surprising scenery to see, is a great thing about space. Where I'm going? Where I've gone? Lost in mind again. 20 to 20th of May. I shall Rise. May all of us get recovered. Going to sleep again.
27-April-2024 Exercise : Positive. Study : Positive just a good effort. Not completed. Wake Up--Sleep : Don't remember. .......... Falled down. 28-April-2024 Slept : On time. Wake Up : Late. Exercise : Negative. Study : Positive. .........
29-April-2024 WakeUp Late. 8 AM Mother fell ill, so I'm taking her to the hospital. Chaos. Time needed to realign all of it. Must to do from now on : 1. Small tasks done firstly. 2. Mindfulness of time to come. 3. Meditate.
I'm in a hotel. My mother is in the hospital nearby, she is fighting death. She is in pain. I'm here with my Mamo Jan, I don't know how to sleep after hearing my mother in that pain. May she get recovered, make dua for her. Anyone, everyone make dua for my mother. Dua that may her liver and all those issues get recovered. May a blessing save her. A very hard test of life. She should be recovered by now but as its still not good so,it is very dangerous. Ahh...you too pray... all my relatives are also praying. آمین This is reality of life. Harsh.
30-April-2024 No sleep tonight Offered Fajar. Quran : Read. ........ How I would handle any bad news? Ahh...it is frightening me alot. Heavy-hearted.
I kissed her feet one final time. I embraced my mother for the last time, Lowered her into her grave, Turned her face towards the Qibla, Thrice poured soil with my own hands, as per Sunnah. Read Quran and prayed for her soul. When you entrust someone precious to God, Your actions must also submit to His will. ........ I buried my happiness. I buried my heart. Yes, this is life. It is truth. Its without her. A four year struggle with cancer came to an end. ......... When death comes, it is sudden and unpredictable. الموت
May Allah SWT make her journey ahead easy for her. May her grave be a garden from amongst the gardens of Jannah. And may Allah grant you even more strength, patience and faith, and make you a means of sadqa-e-jaariyah for her. Ameen ya rabb.
May Allah Almighty bless her the highest place in jannah, Jannat ul firdous. And give ur family the patience to face this loss. Ameen Indeed, a momin is never at loss. The pain and sufferings will in sha Allah become the reward and magfirat. And will be helpful in attaining the neighborhood of Rasool Allah صلی اللّٰہ علیہ وسلم ۔
انا لله و انا الیه راجعون I'm very sorry for your loss brother. May Allah forgive your beloved mother, bless her with the shafa'a of the Nabi (S) and grant her a high maqaam in Jannah. And may He strengthen you and your family with Sabr, Tawakkul, and Itminan. Ameen Big hug to you Akhi