what’s a good way to beat approach anxiety?

Carry a pack of Tic Tacs with you. Next time you meet a stranger, ask him/her if they want a Tic Tac. After they say yes or no, ask them where they're from. That can easily snowball into a healthy conversation. Tic Tacs are an easy ice breaker.

 

You won't make any problems go away if you still cower in fear. If you just expect people to go out of their way to say Hi, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. If you just stick to your anxiety, that's all you'll ever be. Your problems are only going to go away when you take action. Believe me, I suffer from social anxiety, so I know how difficult it is, but I believe in you, dude.

Be a doer and not merely a hearer. That's the only way you will amount to anything in the social world.

 

Cold showers, meditation, and exercises... and NOFAP

 

The problem with porn, masturbation, and orgasm is the massive amount of dopamine your body produces and consumes. It is not normal at all. Not only that, it messes up your perception of sex, can create problems with your normal sexual function, and many other issues, which can bring lots of psychological problems for different people.


Regardless of the sexual problems, being exposed to mass amounts of dopamine can create many issues, and one of them is high anxiety. There are levels of it. Gaming, social media, TikTok, phone addiction, gambling, drugs, many others.

Anything that generates high amounts of dopamine, will generate anxiety because your body can't function normally.

Everyone who decides to do NOFAP has their objective. Examples
- Cure PIED
- Fix their marriage
- Be more productive
- Break free of porn addiction
- Be more social
- Be able to find a new love
- Fix mental/ emotional issues, due to excess of FAP
Many more

NoFap is pretty much to stop looking at porn and nonsense masturbation. that's all

Some people will stop looking at porn and continue masturbating and others will stop masturbating and continue looking at porn.
Bullshit. 2 addictions. One will aways lead to the other.

Read the book: Your brain on porn.
or at least watch some videos about it

 

I'd say this desire you have to "make cold approaches" -- this could be a problem in itself.. you are kind of operating under society's expectations - "that you make yourself desirable and good enough to eventually find a mate/wife/woman/etc."

why not take up a calm, soothing hobby like perhaps going to a nearby river and swimming in the river? Or finding a good hiking trail, or joining an all men's social group at a church, mosque, synagogue, or other spiritual place?

also, do you have to work overtime? maybe if you could stop working so many hours this could help as well

anyways, I'd maybe recommend STOP cold approaching and making yourself feel like you HAVE TO do this.. just try and be relaxed and happy every day, you don't need a woman to do this or to cold approach anyone

 

idk, I really kinda believe if you truly don’t care about this subject, you can be free from it

 

Women really need to stop doing this, it makes things so much worse for both parties

 

well, there are no guarantees. starting as friends can lead to something more...or it could not. in my limited personal experience, ive never dated anyone without being friends first. i think if youre in the "take a chance" mode, youre taking a bigger risk because they can only go by your looks and know nothing ABOUT YOU. i think if the girl knows nothing about you, ALL YOU HAVE to go on is looks.

the onyl serious relationship ive ever had, was when i was in a band, and this girl would come and party with us. and over time, it became her not even caring a lot about the band, and just coming to see me. then it became her not showing up at all to shows, and just wanting to pick me up after and going to dinner (i didnt drive at the time). that turned into long walks at night. that turned into long talks and walks until the sun came up. that turned into her coming over one night to watch TV and making out with me. and that turned into us moving in together and getting engaged

another girl i dated was based on familiarity as well. we worked together and the coworkers invited me out for drinks and trivia night with them. i went and it became a weekly thing. me and one girl in the group hit it off (i was into weird witchy shit at the time). we would chat at work and out having drinks. and on her last day of work (she quit to focus on school) she asked me if i wanted to hang out sometime. we dated for a couple months

my best friend got out of a 10 year marriage. he went on nofap/semen retention and started going to this coffee shop everyday. him and a waitress there would small talk and eventually they found out they liked each other

again from my own experience, i decided to do things the way you did after a little bit of nofap. i found a girl i thought was beautiful, and we chatted very very breifly, but pleasantly. i asked her out, she gave me her number. nothing ever materialized...she didnt have any reason to date me, she didnt know me! she even told me "i dont normally go out with guys i dont know".

so, again, my expereince is limited, but it seems to me that unless youre freaking jason momoa or leo dicaprio or something, you need to build a foundation and report. just sort of be friends. you can flirt while doing that, be playful and cool and nice. just be you. youre probably an awesome dude when you arent fapping...so am I! but i think the real key to getting a gf or even a freindship, is to just act natural, dont force anything, let people SEE and experience how great you are.

dont listen to this "friend zone" bs. if you are getting friend zoned by a girl, dont worry, she probably wasnt ever intending to do anything romantic lol. i dont think theres been a time where a girl is like "i wanna jump that guy" and then loses that...unless you really blow her off and seem totally disinterested.

again, im only speaking from experience because i also have this approach anxiety and am also trying to navigate courtship right now with 2 different girls (kind of)

 

I've worked with a ton of people and I have a co worker that just genuinely puts out a positive attitude especially people he doesn't even know. That I respect so much about and his enthusiasm to say hi to some one you don't know. Unfortunately this day in age people don't respond to negative or awkward attitudes and I've definitely had it before but learned to change it..

What I would suggest is the hello's and simple convo starters. But add emotion to how you say it and at a positive level, I remember watching a Youtuber a long time ago and he was just asking kind and soft hard questions in his own attitude and it seemed like he was getting acknowledged. Woman are hard to talk to extremely, but if you place a good attitude its very easy. Even if it's "nice weather we are having" or just a comment about them that's positive. I did this when I was working my first job and they always responded especially with customers. They sense when a guy is awkward or just kind of creepy instantly, they hold their backs up straight and are on guard. But the change of attitude positively changes it. Instead of doing a cold approach as is, do a kind hearted and warm approach instead.

 

i havent! im 34, and have had sex with 2 women in my life. 10 years ago or more. one woman was a prostitute. im not success story lol