Hello Everyone I just tried to sleep for last 3 hr and I failed end with porn and than masturbate. What to say, feeling so bad for myself and thinking what I have become. I tried almost 100 times now to end this cycle and complete this challenge. I did that only once and now that is a distance memory. I haven’t given up on trying but i end up with porn. For me porn is real problem. It felt like a all my brain when need find ways to unlock the path to reach and i do it i just do it. It’s become so disappointing for me. Tonight I really tried give it all and when i done with all that Here posting my thoughts and thinking, will I succeed if tried one more time. Let’s try one more time One more trime for a day one . One more try to be better myself and cure this addiction. Let’s try one more time Day one log.
Day 6/7 I had a lot of urges today, a lot of which had me very very close to relapsing. I was procrastinating really badly today so I'm convinced that all of the idle time I had today was the reason I had so many strong urges. I literally didn't do any of my usual daily routine stuff until like 2pm (I woke up at 9am for context) and so I just told myself to get up and I went out on a walk to my local park and did my Japanese flashcards while I sat by a lake which was super super peaceful and bliss. But, the moment I got home I had urges again. I worked out because I was really struggling to just sit with these urges today, the urges were sort of going away but they lingered a bit for the entire work out. Luckily, my Mum came into the room and so I talk to her for a bit (not about the urges, just general conversation) which made the urge go away completely. I then showered which was really nice, but again the urge came back, I got really close to relapsing again but I watched some YouTube videos to distract me which, again, helped but the urge came back and, again, I nearly relapsed but I decided to go downstairs and I studied in the living room so I wasn't just sat on my own in my room. I then played a little of a new game I bought recently on Steam for the rest of the night. I just need to actually do my routine instead of vegging out on YouTube and stuff. If I keep consistent in my activities my urges become very manageable.
Hey, Buddy don't lose hope. you're a winner. and I'm sure you're going to win in this journey. GOD is blessing all of us. also, fellow fapstronauts are supporting each other immensely. So, don't worry just do your work. Keep calm and believe in Yourself.
Day 7/7 - Moving onto the 14 day challenge! Very nice day today. I woke up at 9am, watched some Japanese videos for listening practice and watched some more of Dr. K's guide. I went out on the same walk as I did yesterday at 11am which was absolutely blissful. I also did my flashcards whilst I was out. I came back home, meditated, played some games with my friends, played a bit of FF14 since there's a limited time event going on right now and then finished the work that I missed from yesterday. I'm not sure if I'm just over analysing but I think I've started to become a more irritable as a withdrawal symptom, I was getting super frustrated whilst I was playing FF14 because I couldn't figure out where I was meant to go for a quest. It was super out of the blue and in sort of a self aware manner I was kind of confused at myself as to why I was getting so upset over such a tiny thing. I didn't have any notable urges today which I think proves my assumption from yesterday about how I had so many urges because I was having a lot of idle time and because I wasn't sticking to my routine. Wishing everyone the best of luck on getting past 7 Days (and beyond)! You've got this! <3