I've been addicted to pmo for around 11 years (I'm 25). I always felt this deep emptiness inside and thought I was destined for failure. I had no motivation to succeed in life and just wanted to get drunk, hang out with friends who didn't care about me and sleep around. I'd made my peace with it and as a result had extremely low self esteem. After suffering a really bad breakup 5 years ago I went off the deep end and spent 3 years doing copious amounts of drugs and having meaningless hookups on Tinder. To be honest, Tinder did wonders for my self esteem for a while. I don't think I'd be in a position to have taken control of my life without that ego food, but after 3 years it started to make me feel so dead inside. I once hooked up with someone in the toilets of a club and immediately went home feeling incredibly depressed and swore to quit that aspect of my lifestyle, which I mostly succeeded in doing. I lived with extreme suicidal ideation for a long long time and after one particularly introspective acid trip, I realised that maybe PMOing 4+ times per day for as long as I had been may not be an ideal way to live my life. I'd never thought of it as a problem before. After 2 years of trying and failing, I reached 60 days. And my god, I'd read so much about the benefits of Nofap but never truly believed it. For the first time in as long as I could remember I stopped living my life through this overly confident facade and embraced the fragility of who I really was. It was a dark few weeks to begin with, lots of repressed memories and facing demons I had been running from for years. But after dealing with them and learning who I truly was, the 'superpowers' were real as hell. I work as a freelancer in an industry where reputation and personality is everything and the new me made more money and more friends than I ever have in my life. I felt truly happy for the first time since I was a child! I learned to embrace the hard realities of life, and I learned to enjoy them. My confidence sky-rocketed and slowly but surely the urges faded. It's hard to really put into words what I was feeling, it was so freeing and I just loved life. My perpetually negative and perhaps toxic attitude was replaced by a sense of appreciation for everything and everyone. I started running daily, networking as much as possible and saving up for a house. All thanks to the inspiration I got from this site and from you guys. I have no doubt I would not be in this position without you. For what it's worth, thank you all so much. Sadly I relapsed a few months ago after a heavy night of drinking (not going to make that mistake again, I've now quit alcohol too) and spent a few months binging on PMO. Even though my social anxiety and lack of motivation had returned, there was no longer the dark hole inside me. I now know that I am not depressed, I am just an addict. I am now on 30 days, the benefits are returning and it's just fucking insane. I feel like a mentalist telling my friends about what Nofap has done for me as just sounds crazy that something as simple as quitting porn can change your life. Instead of lying in bed watching Youtube and PMOing all day, I want to go out and socialise, work out and start building a company I recently started. I also read daily, books that will help me achieve my goals in life. Its hard to find the right words to express how Nofap has made me feel. Thank you for reading my story. I hope you get some inspiration from it as you have inspired me. We'll make it boys, never give up. Everything worth doing is hard. Thank you all so much for showing me that life can be worth living with a little bit of discipline and determination
You are now a completely different person. NoFap - Actually, Semen Retention did great things for you. You are focused on your mission, on your goals and nothing will stop you. You understand important things, you are building your character and discipline. You are determined. Those relapses just put you few steps back and reminded you of what you were before. You needed them for that, and now you will go even further. Stay on your path, keep going. I wish you all the best! And thank you for sharing, I am sure your story will be a great inspiration to others. P.S. Let me know the name of your company because I want to buy some stocks as soon as possible. I am sure you are capable to do great things.
Thank you PowerfulSRE, that was for some reason incredibly moving and made me shed a tear. I will read your message whenever the going gets tough. I would give you a high five if it were possible. Regarding my company, that's so nice of you to say man. We don't expect to turn over a profit for a long while whilst we get established and I don't think we'll be going public for even longer but I will definitely let you know when we do. Much love man
very inspiring, thank you so much for sharing your story, and congrats for being back on the recovery track
Beautiful story man. I love how truly honest you have been to yourself. That for me is a critical part of the recover part from this addiction. Like you said, all the great things in life hard. Keep up the good work!
awesome story dude. after 10 days I relapsed today, and I am not at all feeling good about it. but reading your story made me realize that is just a phase. Thanks for sharing and I always tell myself "GREAT THINGS TAKE TIME"
Great read! I think it was really inspiring that, even though you had a relapse something had changed, and that the dark hole was gone. I like to think tha the progress isnt just lost if we slip, but instead that every small win matters.
good game. wish I can follow your path. just want to ask some few things. sorry if this looks copied-and-pasted or looks like a spam, because I'm trying to ask others about quite the same thing on similar forum post, which happen to be among my most important concerns: 1. what are the most tempting times/worst times that you've been through? how did you get through it? 2. did some of your mental strategies fail you? did a mindset that brought you to PMO recovery fail you? if yes, does it happen once, or several times? how do you get through it? thank you!
Hey dude, The most tempting times are when I've had a drink, for sure. All my inhibitions go out the window. Also, being bored/tired/stressed can make it hard, but I can distract myself with other things when these things cause temptation. Not so easy when I'm drunk. I PMOd once after a drink and then, of course, I started to justify it to myself. Once every other week, once a week, 3 times a week etc until I was bigning daily again. I've suffered from other addictions in the past and the one thing that stays true with all of them is that you can't just do it once and abstain once again. You just can't , it doesnt work like that. I dont think a strategy has failed me, more like a lack of strategy. This addiction is different for everyone. For example, everyone raves about cold showers; for me it is just uncomfortable. As I've tried Nofap throughout the years I've learned what works for me and what doesn't and I feel like I've finally found a system (although it took a couple of years of trial and error). Just keep aiming for the long streaks and see what makes you fail. Then get up and do it again but differently. Eventually you won't look at it as a streak but a way of life
For me, personally, it's after some excuses to my internet and/or food addiction. I wish I know a psychologically defined line between excusing my internet distractions and my PMO addiction. Navigating that one has been quite hard for me. I'm still in the trial-and-error phase, hoping for a better understanding on my own conditions. I think nofap might accelerate that, as I can get more perspective from others than merely doing evaluations by my own. Thanks for the reply, by the way!
Thanks man, I really appreciate it. I often go back to this post when the going gets tough to read everyone's kind words. You have no idea how much they mean to me
1)At this time for how much days you were sober from PMO addiction ? because sobriety is a journey, not a destination. 2)And was your NO PMO journey hard mode(i.e. monk mode),if it was then how you was dealing with Porn substitute on social media like IG,FB, what's app and so on. Cause I think these social media is like curse for us fapstronaut to be able to run smoothly on our No PMO journey. (I personally struggle lot on these to a extent it makes me hopeless) Hope you answer me Please.