I'm on Hard Mode from past 5 Days after Resetting. First time I PMOd in just 3 days after starting the Reboot. But then set a Reset & started again. Today I was reading a Comedy manga. Read it for an hour & then searched for its Hentai casually.. I felt like I won't find any as it didn't seem popular. But it had them.. And I willingly checked. I didn't get any urge or felt anything from reading that Doujinshi parody of that manga at all. But then I said to myself that now I have a bit of control on myself, I might as well check & catch up the particular category of my liking. What came there in past 5 days ever since I quit. But then ended up reading one of my all time favorite series & the new chapter. I have a thing for the Female lead character of that series. (mainly because how Dopamine messes your brain & you end up imaging things). Before I realized, I touched my Penis after 5 days break & started Edging for like 1 minutes.. But then it quickly hit me that I was giving into it. So I stopped & fought off the urges by Breathing heavily & Exercised a bit. As many say, Dopamine screws up the Brain's Reward System & PMO or Edging feels good because of it. I felt the usual rush & haze in my head like I used to before deciding to quit PMO. So decided to come here & write this down as it has helped me focus many times before when I was struck by the Urges. But I'm not certain if I should count this as a Relapse & hit the Reset button or Keep counting today as part of my 90 Days Hard Mode ?? In my head, I don't think I Relapsed but my conscience says I may have. That's why I need your Opinions guys. To help me clear out this confusion.
Sadly, it is a "reset" but not a relapse, so don't be discouraged . My advice would be to reset the counter as going on with this streak my lead only to future relapses and it may give you a guilty conscience even after you reach 90 days but resetting the counter gives you a sense of no progress and that in itself my lead to a heavy binge. It's a difficult situation but ultimately, you decide, I'll keep supporting you whatever decision you come to! We can beat this together, let's keep fighting! You may want to distance yourself from manga for a certain period until you've built the willpower to read normal manga without desiring sexual manga. I did the same with the internet and now I'm using it well as compared to a few days ago. Best of luck
It's certainly a reset in regards with the P, but it may also be a relapse in regards to the edging, because edging also messes with your brain's chemicals. The brain is already expecting a full-on PMO release, and starts spiking.
You're right bro. I really need to restrict my Internet access & devote my time to something else like Studying or developing a hobby. I've just joined classes for MBA so I'll try to focus on that. The years of Brain Fog will certainly make it harder for me to memorize things & focus but I must do it in order to avoid feeling tempted to read that sort of stuff again. Thanks and we'll be in touch man. Good luck to you as well.
Yeah bro. You're right.. I must hit the Reset button again & start off fresh & in better way & discipline this time. And like you said, I'm constantly having thoughts about PMO again. Even at this moment I'm thinking like since I'm going to restart again, I might as well PMO & get done with what I left off. But the downside is I think I will revert back to old habits again & masturbate till it's released. This is going to be one hard day to control myself.. I'll try to keep myself busy throughout the day by some means so that I don't give into it again.. By chance do you know any trick to focus away from these novelty & sexual thoughts ? I use the breathing technique mostly but it's not working today since the Dopamine levels seem to have risen again today.
Not to depress you, but there will be other such days. Consider today a test of strength. You can do it! The most important thing is to keep yourself busy, especially by doing outdoor things. I can add to that two tips on thought control: 1. The 10-minute rule: whenever you have urges, instead of telling yourself "No." tell yourself "Yes, but in 10 minutes." before the time is up, remind yourself why you got into the reboot in the first place, how much better your life will be if you control yourself, etc. 2. The 5-seconds rule: whenever a PMO-related thought enters your head, you have up to 5 seconds to think of something else instead. With time you can bring that down to 3 or 2 seconds. Good luck!
