Hey Beymybest, Thank you for sharing and opening up with your vulnerability - what an amazing place to work from. I used to feel depressed and lonely and down on myself. Meditation is the absolute most powerful cure to transform these feelings and heal definitively. When you meditate you learn to not identify with negative feelings or thoughts and release them before they take a hold on you. Most women are looking for men they can relate to. You sound like a really special person. See this moment in your life as an opportunity for you to get your shit together, and learn how to fall in love with yourself first. When you change the way you see things the things you see will change too. Life will engage with you. Once you deal with your self esteem, you will also become more magnetic. Otherwise, get more active, motivate yourself to do a hobby, be social if you can, get fit, whatever you can to channel your energy in positive and constructive ways. Burning physical energy also helps your mental energy stay clean and raises your self esteem. Go for it bro! S.
I was in the same situation two years ago when I hit rock-bottom (mentally) and considered looking for escorts, just to get that dog of my back. But, I considered that living with myself would be even harder if I did as that the thought of "Having taken the quickest path of smallest resistance and simultaneously one riddled with even more guilt and shame" would haunt me for the rest of my life and do nothing for my self-improvement. Being a late but confident bloomer (after a rough start in life) is indeed the much better choice in the long run than looking for the short-sighted alternative of an escort/hooker in order to solve your underlying issues with arousal addiction.
Why does my whole day revolve around just the thought of PMO and fantasizing about girls? I need to cleanse my thought process as I am so ashamed of the fact that whole day I am just having urges to masturbate. Also, I will resume my recovery process from today.
I am trying to increase my focus and concentration by engaging in Yoga/ meditation. I sincerely want to avoid distractions and focus on my studies as I have an exam on 13th. Though I can go and study in library but I don't know why I don't feel like. Maybe it is because I am lazy and procrastinate a lot before going which eventually leads to lots of wastage of time. Sometimes I even get stuck and don't do anything whole day after I have procrastinated on going to the library. But at the end of the I want to happy and at peace with myself. I need to be content and satisfied with how my day went.
Im not a virgin, but seriously, after more or less a year of no sex im thinking about go with a prostitute for the first time.
Guys, do you know what came to my mind? I started to think. If we us men, can be traumatized just for loosing our virginity with some prostitute, how does a prostitute feel or a porn actress after having sex with so many men? I heard many of them experience with drugs in order to cope with the demands. We are taught to believe that they like having sex with all those men. The reality is completely different. The thing is, wrong sexual drive can ruin your life...