readytobeabetterme

I first found porn when I was only 7 years old. I grew up with a very manipulative, emotionally/mentally abusive, and borderline-psychopathic father. I first accessed porn through a Samsung tablet that barely even worked. Before I even had the chance to learn about sex or have any sort of intimacy, I was captured by porn. Over the years my family situation grew worse, and so did my porn addiction. The first time I had actually masturbated to porn was in 5th grade. Since that day I have not went even 1 month clean. I began to use porn solely for the purpose of escaping reality, and to be able to have a little dopamine rush to ignore what I really felt. I no longer want to run from reality, and desperately want to live and lead a better life from now on.