Gamekeeper89

Fapstronaut, Male, 34

It's 2020 and four little letters are back as part of my life: P, M and ED. I want to see if I can change things again. Here goes. Feb 26, 2020

Gamekeeper89 was last seen:: Apr 6, 2022

1. Gamekeeper89
  It's 2020 and four little letters are back as part of my life: P, M and ED. I want to see if I can change things again. Here goes.
  
  Feb 26, 2020
  1. Deleted Account likes this.
  2. Deleted Account
    You can, and you will, do your best and never give up, i know you can brother, let's do this! :)
    
    Feb 26, 2020
    
    Gamekeeper89 likes this.
  3. Gamekeeper89
    Thank-you bro!
    
    Feb 27, 2020
    
    Deleted Account likes this.
2. Deleted Account
  Heey man how is it going? Are you going for another try?
  
  Dec 30, 2019
  1. Gamekeeper89 likes this.
3. Gamekeeper89
  Relapsed.
  
  May 28, 2018
  2. Deleted Account
    Get up and get going...
    
    May 28, 2018
    
    Venkat19 and LivinginRecovery like this.
  3. LivinginRecovery
    Yet you're here so that's a great start. You've done this before and you will do it again. I have total faith in you.
    
    Jun 16, 2018
    
    Venkat19 likes this.
4. P-Free
  Your quote from "Lady Chatterley's Lover" is wonderful! Thank you for sharing it!
  
  May 27, 2018
  1. Gamekeeper89, Rising Sun !! and Deleted Account like this.
5. Gamekeeper89
  26 days into my first streak in many months. That old sense of strength and determination flickers into life again.
  
  May 26, 2018
  1. LivinginRecovery, P-Free, Deleted Account and 9 others like this.
  2. Gripseeker
    Great to hear. Well done. Notice the increase in strenght, self-confidence and proudness as you go through difficulty until it's gone.
    
    May 26, 2018
    
    LivinginRecovery, Deleted Account, Deleted Account and 3 others like this.
  3. azureblue
    I wish you well Gk.
    
    May 26, 2018
    
    Deleted Account, Deleted Account, Gamekeeper89 and 2 others like this.
  4. P-Free
    AWESOME!!!!
    
    May 27, 2018
6. Gamekeeper89
  1 May '17 was when I discovered NoFap and chose to end my addiction. 1 May '18 will mark a re-exertion of that power I never knew I had.
  
  May 2, 2018
  1. Venkat19, LivinginRecovery, Gripseeker and 2 others like this.
7. Gamekeeper89
  6 month streak without P or M last time. I'm back and my counter is set to zero. Let's do this!
  
  Jan 30, 2018
  1. LivinginRecovery, Gripseeker, azureblue and 3 others like this.
8. Gamekeeper89
  160 days without wanking; I am now in gainful employment, and have quit smoking (again! Determined to get through 'Stoptober')
  
  Oct 8, 2017
  1. Venkat19, Gripseeker, azureblue and 7 others like this.
  2. LivinginRecovery
    That's great. What are you doing work wise? If you need help re smoking, I highly recommend Allen Carr's EasyWay to stop smoking. That was the book which helped me. Been smoke-free since Feb 12th 2015.
    
    Oct 17, 2017
    
    Gamekeeper89 likes this.
  3. Gamekeeper89
    Thanks LiR, I've still not smoked this month so I'm on the right track! I know someone with that book though, so I may need to borrow it if I relapse. Enjoying your new posts btw. Please keep them coming.
    
    Oct 22, 2017
  4. Atlanticus
    FAB FAB FAB FAB FAB!!!!!
    
    Nov 24, 2017
9. Gamekeeper89
  125 days: a bump in the road https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/gamekeeper89s-journal.101309/page-4#post-1013651
  
  Sep 4, 2017
  1. BBush74, Hopeful Egyptian, LivinginRecovery and 2 others like this.
10. Gamekeeper89
  On Day 100 I feel mixed emotions. But I know this: my life is better because of my decision to stop P and M.
  
  Aug 10, 2017
  1. Hopeful Egyptian, EverydayIsANewChance, Deleted Account and 3 others like this.
  2. View previous comments...
  3. Gamekeeper89
    @LivinginRecovery Mixed emotions because I haven't yet done the 'life/new habits building' that @Trailblazer is talking about. That's my current task.
    
    Aug 11, 2017
    
    Rising Sun !!, EverydayIsANewChance and LivinginRecovery like this.
  4. AscendRestore
    Awesome man. Triple digits, way to go!
    
    Aug 11, 2017
    
    Rising Sun !!, Hopeful Egyptian, EverydayIsANewChance and 1 other person like this.
  5. EverydayIsANewChance
    Congrats on reaching Day 100!
    
    Aug 18, 2017
    
    Rising Sun !! likes this.
11. Gamekeeper89
  Day 90. At least 3x more than I ever thought I could do. But it's so much more than just a number. Strength and courage, bro's and sisters.
  
  Jul 31, 2017
  1. Rising Sun !!, EverydayIsANewChance, Deleted Account and 6 others like this.
  2. LivinginRecovery
    Hey! You did it. Proud of you mate. Congratulations. You're an inspiration to us all here. Keep the quit.
    
    Aug 3, 2017
    
    Rising Sun !! and Gamekeeper89 like this.
12. Gamekeeper89
  I'm going to abstain from P and M until I hit 100 days, and then reassess my situation.
  
  Jul 17, 2017
  1. Rising Sun !!, vibemaker, LivinginRecovery and 6 others like this.
  2. LivinginRecovery
    My god man, don't go back to the fapping and the P. It won't do you any good at all. It will more than likely just undo all the hard work you've done.
    
    Jul 22, 2017
    
    Rising Sun !! and Gamekeeper89 like this.
13. Gamekeeper89
  70 days with no PM. I was using it multiple times a day for years before 1 May '17. I want to use my newly found willpower on other things.
  
  Jul 11, 2017
  1. Rising Sun !!, vibemaker, LivinginRecovery and 2 others like this.
14. Gamekeeper89
  I feel a sense of calm, as if after a storm. PM is no longer a part of my life. New waters lie ahead.
  
  Jul 7, 2017
  1. Rising Sun !!, vibemaker, LivinginRecovery and 4 others like this.
  2. Kanthaka the warrior
    Good to hear that bro
    
    Jul 7, 2017
    
    Rising Sun !! and Deleted Account like this.
15. I'mBroken
  UR PIED really went away at 30 days? There's hope? I've had PIED for a few years and hope it doesn't take 90+ days of NoFap.
  Thanks for posting ur encouragment!
  I'mBroken ~
  
  Jul 5, 2017
  1. Rising Sun !! and LivinginRecovery like this.
  2. Gamekeeper89
    It was approximately 40 days after I had stopped PMO that I tried full sex, and the ED had gone. I wish you well, brother!
    
    Jul 7, 2017
    
    Rising Sun !! and LivinginRecovery like this.
16. Gamekeeper89
  54 days and not a single solo fap. ED gone. Post-wank self-loathing gone. Wellbeing up. Self-repsect up. Cheers, NoFap!
  
  Jun 24, 2017
  1. Rising Sun !!, LivinginRecovery, Strength And Light and 2 others like this.
17. LivinginRecovery
  Can you guess what I'm going to write? "Have a great weekend. Stay strong! Keep the quit." I'm nothing if not original :)
  
  Jun 9, 2017
  1. Rising Sun !!, laris and Gamekeeper89 like this.
18. LivinginRecovery
  Have a great weekend. Stay strong! Keep the quit.
  
  May 27, 2017
  1. Rising Sun !! and Gamekeeper89 like this.
19. Gamekeeper89
  "The best way out is always through" - Robert Frost (1874-1963)
  
  May 23, 2017
  1. Rising Sun !!, LivinginRecovery and Clean Plate like this.
20. Gamekeeper89
  I haven't PMO'd since 30th April. That's 23 days of strength that I didn't really think I had.
  
  May 23, 2017
  1. Rising Sun !!, LivinginRecovery, Deleted Account and 4 others like this.
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About

Gender:

Male

Birthday:

Dec 25, 1989 (Age: 34)

I am a 27-year-old gay man from London, UK. I am starting the Reboot (PM) on 1st May 2017, because I am experiencing symptoms of addiction and ED.

My username alludes to a character in one of my favourite books, Lady Chatterley's Lover. In the book, the gamekeeper, Oliver Mellors, has an affair with the titular character, Lady Chatterley. He is earthy and sexual and some might say 'crude', but he understands the deep importance and value of intimacy, togetherness and sensuality. I think he reflects the sex-positivity that is a feature of my rationale in joining NoFap, and he's a symbol for the desire to want to make sex better and to make it about connection. In other words, Mellors ain't a fapper. Below is a quote from the novel, in which Mellors writes to Lady Chatterley. Wish me luck!

"My soul softly flaps in the little Pentecost flame with you, like the peace of fucking. We fucked a flame into being. Even the flowers are fucked into being between the sun and the earth. But it's a delicate thing, and takes patience and the long pause. So I love chastity now, because it is the peace that comes of fucking. I love being chaste now. I love it as snowdrops love the snow. I love this chastity, which is the pause of peace of our fucking, between us now like a snowdrop of forked white fire. And when the real spring comes, when the drawing together comes, then we can fuck the little flame brilliant and yellow, brilliant."

Here's my journal: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/gamekeeper89s-journal.101309/
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Gamekeeper89

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