Hello guys! I am writing because today it's been 3 weeks i'm off porn and I realized that in the past few days, I just CAN'T stop thinking about sex but, It doesn't make me want to PMO. I just want to meet new women, but I only want to have sex with them. When I used to be on porn, I always wanted to take my time with women, but now that I'm off and it's been 3 weeks, I really want to just have sex and I am willing to do anything for it. It is surely the effects of stopping porn. I always treat woman the right way, but now I feel like I'm acting like a fuckboy, and I don't want to act like one, because it's bad and women need to be treated WELL. Yesterday, I used tinder and matched with this girl who actually at the end, I am not really attracted to, but I still want to meet her because I want to have sex. She seems pretty interested, but maybe would like to be more serious than I do. Should I just resist and stay home ( I am not even afraid of relapsing ), I have the impression that It's not my real self who is thinking at this moment. What is your opinion ?? How do you feel after 3 weeks off porn ? I had a flatline the first week, the second week I was medium thinking about sex, but this week it's super intense.. For the past three hours, I was trying to study maths but I wasn't able to do it. I have the impression that the only way I can get back to focus is PMO (which i have control of right now and WON'T) or go out and meet the girl. It's crazy but because I got used to porn and being able to obtain it INSTANTLY, I don't want to take my time with a woman, I would just like to go there and instantly f*ck.... but it's not how it works... This is what porn has done to me !! Advice would be really nice at this moment guys!!! And I hope that I am in the right section of the forums !! -SoberSquirrel
Wow, I could have started this exact same thread because I feel the exact same way! After 3 weeks as well (odd coincidence...), I've gotten horny as hell and am finding it extremely hard to suppress the sexual thoughts. I'm in a weight lifting class at school and this one girl... f*ck me, haha. It feels weird to have such strong feelings like this, but part of me thinks it's because we are rewiring to what is normal, kind of like going through puberty again. For about 4 days in a row the urges were SO STRONG in the morning, but last night I put my foot down and told myself that I have to find ways to suppress them or a relapse will certainly happen. Today feels good and when I had a very minor urge I quickly changed my thoughts and I'm good to go. As for the chick on tinder, I don't know, it's your call, but I'd probably pass if it was myself. I re-opened on online dating profile the other day, but closed it this morning because it can lead to edging and we need to learn to meet girls out in public (or at least I do to get over my fears of cold approaches and meeting them). There is a girl I'm going to ask out in a few days when I see her again and let me tell you, I would prefer it that way compared to online hook ups anytime of day.
Wow, what a coincidence indeed. I feel like uninstalling Tinder and all the other apps and you're right that we should go out and meet chicks live instead of infront of the screen. I've never been good at picking up girls while clubbing or at a bar, but I was another me, that was when I was on porn. Now I'm 3 weeks off, and maybe everything will be different, because my confidence is higher than ever. Before, my average time of no PMO was a week, and I did feel more confident, but maybe not confident enough. What I realized is earlier when i was craving for sex, is that I was in the room where i would normally PMO. I am currently writing from the kitchen, all the sexual thoughts disappeared. It's because my brain automaticly associated that room with my addiction.
and you have to work super hard to score with a chick who knows nothing about you, and you know nothing about them. So the odds are astronomically against you that you will have a successful time with them, unless you are just looking to waste a bunch of time and money getting tooned at a bar and try and pound her then your best bet is to delete it.
I've had troubles at the three week period too. I don't know what it is, but it seems pretty common. Like you already mentioned, distraction and a change of scenery is a good way to get past this feeling. I think a big part of healing from a porn addiction (it's about more than just breaking free) is to learn to look at women and ourselves for more than sex. When we just see women and want to sleep with them instead of form an emotional connection, I think that's a problem. Personally, I believe that waiting until marriage is the only right way to do things, but even if you disagree, it may be best to avoid hookups and hookup related apps. They can be hugely damaging to people emotionally, even when those involved don't feel that they're being damaged.
Well, tinder or non-tinder (bar, club), It's always a challenge to score no matter what the situation is. A chick you don't know is a chick you don't know (tinder or non-tinder).. It's just that using tinder is the non-traditional way of getting to meet people. It is a step for meeting new people and getting laid, but after a while, it's good to uninstall tinder (or any other dating app) and do it the real way. I know that a woman is not just for sex and I never saw them as objects. As I said, I always respected women and always took more time to get to know them. It's just one of the effects of the recovery. I have had girlfriends, met girls and slept with them, but it was always when I was atleast a week or more away from PMO. I always treated women right. I am the type of guy that would want something serious normaly and I do not usually look for one-nights, but it's only now that I am having these feelings of wanting just one-nights or quick sex. It's like how volt said, everyone rebooting is being rewired and it's like going through puberty again
Getting there also, I've finished week 2 and week 3 started today or yesterday. I have been having very sexual thoughts in the mornings mostly, and just asked people here if I should continue, the answers of course was I shouldn't. So i stopped. From your post what I see you talking about is that you think You see how your brain tries to trick you. You even think that you are strong and can't relapse, but you say that's the only way to get focus. That's the scumbag brain my friend. It tries every trick up its sleeve. Just wait throught it man, You know its easy to go through NoFap if you're not horny and motivated all the time, but the real battle begins when it is hard, and it is hard for you right now, so just suck it up and do what you wanted to do at the start.
Folks, I must say that I'm on day 22 and since some days, my urges to jack off have grown a lot, too! Maybe it's about hormone levels, I don't know. Do I fight the urges? I also don't want to suppress my desires as they are natural. But I'm horny as hell and have been edging this morning. It didnt't help though (why on earth did I think it would ;-)) because I fancied a release. However, I didn't give in and made it through the day! Yeah, yeah!
A lot of urges are natural and still disordered, so I believe it is better to fight rather than just give in. Fighting head on is not normally the best way to go when you fight addiction though. The best way is often to divert your attention and energy into something productive. You have sexual energy, but you don't just have to hold it inside. You can divert it into creative energy and physical energy and work out, read a book, go for a walk, or do something else you can enjoy. It isn't easy at first, but it is definitely worth it. It is normally better to start with something physically active, since that will divert your attention from urges. Having temptations is evidence that you're alive, moving past them is evidence that you're living.
I just started my 5th week. I only have problems when I am around women. Haven't seen porn in 3 months.
What I find interesting is that so many of us have intense urges after 3 weeks. Everytime I have an urge, I try to think about something else and I tell myself how great it is to be off porn and start remembering how bad that feeling is when you relapse. Instead of jumping into porn, I feel proud of what I have accomplished until now. 23 days and counting... Damn, I feel like another me right now and it feels good !
I would recommend avoiding online dating, because, for me at least, it's no where near the real deal of approaching women you don't know and striking up conversation. It's easy to sit behind a screen and attempt to strike up conversations, and you're given time to think of responses. In real life it just flows, you know, like in real life, haha. The one time I met a girl from a dating website it last only maybe an hour for lunch and that was that. Now, I was deep in pmo addiction too, but I just couldn't get the confidence like I could when chatting online. It has it's places and uses, but honestly for those of us who used pmo because of lack of success with real life partners, it's the wrong way to go. Plus there is always the edging aspect (especially with Tinder). That's awesome to hear you mention the environment tactic, that's actually one of the best methods to use when it comes to changing behaviors or breaking addictions. When you associate a behavior with the environment, that behavior gets reinforced, because you're conditioned to do that behavior in the environment. Force yourself out of the environment, or even change it up. Did you used to use a certain chair or have a specific set-up, or even schedule while pmoing? Get rid of them and change it up. Again, another excellent reason why we need to avoid online dating. We've done enough browsing of pixelated women in our lifetime so far, time to go out there like our father's, their father's and so forth did and meet our potential partners in real life. I don't know about you guys, but I probably browsed through half a million nude models over the years of countless browsing By scrolling through women modeling themselves for dates I'm not that far removed from when I would seek out the perfect picture of finish off with. Also, high five man, this is awesome to read. After a rough few days last week, yesterday was pretty damn amazing for me, even though nothing major, girl wise, happened. Though I do have a girl at work coming onto me that I have to now beat away with a broom since I want nothing to do with her and am looking forward to asking a different one out on tuesday.
Its my 24th day. And i have the same urges like you all. I guess, though i am not sure, i read it somewhere that after 25days of NO MO the body itself trying to replace. So keeping that urges aside help us to gain what we have lost for long!
Now that you mentionned about the chair i've been using while PMO'ing, I just did a chair switch not long ago because the other one broke down, and I'm using a temporary chair in that room until I get a nice comfortable new office chair. I'll be keeping the current chair porn free And the next one too ! About the schedules, when I think back, sometimes I did notice that I was PMO'ing on the same days for a while. After some time, I would switch to other days of the week. There was a time where I was doing it on Saturdays and Sundays more often, then I would switch to Wednesdays and Thursdays after a while. I always switched days so it wasn't always the same date. The time also varried. Sometimes I would do it in the morning, sometimes afternoon or sometimes in the evening, and when I had a huge relapse or simply went out of control, I would do it 5-6 times a day. One thing I know is that In my life, I never woke up in the middle of the night to watch porn. That never happened. I also tried to avoid attaching porn to certain events. Before, sometimes when coming home from the gym, I would consume pornography or while playing a certain video game, I would watch after playing it (or sometimes when the urge came, I paused that video game). Everytime after THAT game, the urges were always there because I got my brain used to a pattern. Knowing that, I have a better Idea of where to be careful. For anyone else who reads this, my advice is to always pay attention what you're doing before or after watching porn, because by monitoring those habits, it is a great way to gain control of them. About the online dating, you are right about the fact that we should uninstall and do it the real way. While using porn, we are browsing through it, and while using tinder, we are also browsing. See the similarity ? That's why our chances of relapsing can grow. I find it annoying because you don't see the person infront of your eyes and you have no clue what she thinks and you can't detect any body language. That's why when you match on tinder, it's like you have to hurry up and get a date because one stupid line and the person can end up just not answering. On a date, even if you mess something up, you can quickly fix things, that's why you need to hurry up and get a date, because she can't really walk away (unless you did something very stupid or she is just a total bitch).
