In summary, me and my ex split after a 2 year relationship. We were each others first loves. Although I wasn't a virgin, she was. We had lots of sex together. I spent almost everyday with the girl. I was close to her family and she was close to mine. She was my best friend, the only one I could express my true self with. I always thought we were inseparable. She left me 5 months ago because she was fed up with the fact that I was watching porn. She felt as if it was cheating, it took a hit on her self esteem and if she was good enough, and my addiction ultimately led to sex that wasn't even pleasurable for her. I would have problems staying hard and would cum fast. I use to have to watch porn that day or imagine porn scenes to get me aroused. My arousal and attraction was more on porn than it was to her, and this kills me because she was an absolute dime who had a perfect body and this isn't an exaggeration. The girl was drop dead gorgeous to the point where when we went out EVERY guy would look at her. Cops, married men with kids, everybody. I felt lucky I found this girl and was able to be her first love To make a long story short, after we broke up she moved on quickly and I was devastated. She started dating a new guy within a month or two of breaking up. This guy's the opposite of me. More popular, more money, etc. I feel my ego and self esteem have taken a huge toll. I'm depressed, filled with anxiety when i go out. I have no energy to date and start a new relationship yet. I invested a lot into this girl and moving on has been so hard for me. Her face and all the times we spent together flash in my mind. This gives me such a painful nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach. I regret the fact that I let porn ruin my relationship. On top of that I have PIED so I don't even feel aroused by women anymore. Nothing turns me on in fact. I've been relapsing lately because it helps to numb the pain of regret that I have by losing her. I know many of you may so it's ONEITIS, but I never felt this way about another girl and for me it takes a while to fully love somebody on an emotional level. I know their are other fish in the sea. I just want to know what can heal and stop these thoughts and this pain? Why can some guys just get over it so fast and move on and I am more emotional and am still in love with somebody that's clearly moved on and is starting something new in her life. I find it so hard to accept and swallow what has happened. If anybody can give me any advice it would be appreciated. Thank you.
Other guys may look like they've moved on really quickly but I bet they're secretly hurting, at least some of the time. This may seem obvious, but stop looking at pictures of her (if you are)! If she's on any social media, either unfriend her or block her updates or whatever, and don't look at her profile. Get rid of, or carefully hide reminders of her. Out of sight out of mind. Try and embrace being single. Do stuff that was difficult to do in a relationship. Start a new hobby or revive one you've been ignoring. Good luck.
What are you looking for? You miss the intimacy and the closeness you had. Don't forget that! But understand that if nothing can be done to salvage it, then consider it an opportunity to move on. So when you think of all the great times you had, appreciate and honor the two experience that you had in our relationship. Accept things are different now, and take what you've learned to improve the areas of your life that you feel are lacking. You've only failed if you don't learn from what you've been through and change. Perhaps change your perception of her from being a "dime" to one who "is beautiful inside and out"? And realize that there are tons of women like this waiting for a guy like you. If she was with you, whose to say you can't be it that again? And if this guy she's dating is "more popular" than you, then what about him is different? Hobbies? Confidence? Don't be jealous, learn from his example and take notes on why he's successful. And build those qualities within yourself without trying to be like him. Build yourself, get out and meet women, and learn from your interactions. Always look at each encounter as an opportunity to grow and exchange value in relationship, be it with man or woman. Try reading the books "Mindset" by Carol Dweck and "How to Win Friends and Influence People," a rather poor title for rich and timeless wisdom by Dale Carnegie.
Jreeze2015, here's a guy I listen to and am also reading his book. Cory Wayne. Here's a link that might be appropriate... . He's got tons of videos. I haven't seen any about the nofap thing, so you are in the right place about that, but check out his videos and see what you think. Another guy I like is Johnny Berba, a Brit. Both of these guys also post videos not always about women, but about life styles. The girl that got away from you sounds amazing. There has to be maybe a thousand more like her out of the billion or so females on earth, ha ha, so prepare yourself for them. Every girl friend I had that left me I felt a hurt and loss. It seems to be a grieving thing we must go through and yes, according to Cory Wayne, men feel it worse than women. But... just check these guys out.
