Day 31

Hey,

Today is day 31 of no PMO.

I did MO one time in the middle of the month with no images because I drank too much and was lonely. Thankfully, I took all porn access off of my phone and ipad so I couldn't access and images. Also, I looked at scantily clad women (not P) a few times for about a total of 5 -10 minutes in the whole month. Not absolutely perfect but still pretty darn good.

This is the first time I made it this far. I've almost made it the entire month. And I will finish.

I've gone from getting desperate enough to be looking as escorts to being pretty OK by myself. That's huge for me. I always seemed to be looking at women in order to make myself feel better. I still need to work on that but at least I've eliminated PMO so I can actually give it a chance.

I have so many good results, I will keep continuing with this for the next month (I would say forever but I don't want to make myself afraid) and the month after that and on and on.

I feel more physical energy, I feel better about my life, about myself, about my relationships with women. There is still a lot of work that I need to do on myself and that I need to do in my head. I still have a lack of confidence when it comes to women I like but it has diminished a lot and will continue to do so. At least I know that this is a huge part of the way to getting better.

I'm getting really sexually pent up but it seems to have leveled off. I now can use my sex energy for useful things and not just jack off into a kleenex and lose all of my power. I'll make it. I'm doing good so far... I'm gonna keep going.

 

I have now made it completely through the month of March!!! Now on to April!

 

What is it about the 30 day mark that has seemed to made me feel invincible (as far as PMO is concerned)? I know I'm not, I know that I still could fall back, but I feel like I am renewed now. Like I could go on indefinitely with no PMO. I don't have any urge for it. It's great.

I know there will be urges in the future, and that I will be tempted to slide back. I need to remember this community and to keep reading and giving out my advice and contributing to it.

Thanks to this community for every post. It's such a great place to get support and knowledge. this place really helps me greatly.

 

So I made it to 35 days. Then the girl I started dating told me that she didn't want any romantic relationship at the moment.

I was gutted. I tried hanging out with a different girl I knew. That helped for a while, then when she left the emptiness came in.

I went home for the weekend and used my parents wifi to PMO one time, I tried to abstain but was unsuccessful. I didn't feel incredible guilt about it, but it didn't make me feel better either. It didn't take away the hurt. So I realized that I have to deal with the hurt and PMO isn't going to help me at all.

I haven't looked since, it's been 2 days now. I'm feeling fine about the PMO... I just don't know what to do about the girl.


What do you do when you lose a girl that you REALLY wanted. I've lost tons that I kinda wanted, but I really wanted this one.

I know there's no real good answer than to just keep on working on my life and moving on.... but it just sucks and is sad sometimes.

That's all.

Thanks


any advice is welcome


p.s. I realized why I only did PMO one time... I realized that I have expanded my happiness investments. I now draw happiness from my family, hobbies, reading, music, capoeira, and friends. I'm not putting all my eggs into the "women" basket and hoping that everything works out. I did that before and it left me devastated. I actually never realized it until now. I didn't do that many things that made me happy and hoped that women would "do the trick"