I said NO

That definitely was a drastic step on your side, but not a good step at all. I can relate to what you are going through, i am that guy that people take advantage of and always ask something from, a lot of the time i dont want to help those people but i do, and there is a reason for that. When i help people i dont do it because they are good or bad, or because they are shitty humans, i do it because thats who i am, i believe kindness should come before anything else, those people might just be using you but by being kind and helping them, despite how nasty they are twords you, you will leave a mark on them, it might be years down the road but that act of kindness will change them for the better one day, and as a christian i have the best role model to look up to, Jesus, i know for a fact he would help those nasty people, why?, because that is what a kind, forgiving person would do. I dont expect anything from those people, i dont even expect a thank you, aslong as a i can be a beacon of hope and kindess is this dark world, thats all i need. Now to adress this comment, {How tf can someone call someone straight up and ask for a favor when you have not even formed the basic friendship with them.} Why would you need to be friends with someone to ask for help?, if you were dying on the side of the road would you not want people to help you?, or should they ignore you because they have no basic friendship with you?. Its about being kind to people, it does not matter if you know them or not, if the request is within moral reason then why wouldnt you help them?, its a selfish attitude to not want to help people, ill end this here but let me leave you with some words of wisdom. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. And one more thing, i would recommend you do some self reflection, i understand you are tired of being used but you should really ask yourself who are you and what do you stand for?, am i really the nice person i claim to be or am i just putting on an act?. Forgiveness is so very importance and patience.

 

Good stuff. Never let other take advantage of your kindness. Always have a word .

 

its always good to stand up for yourself, but on the road he is headed down, he will end up like the shitty people he hates so much. Its ironic how his name is fight the devil but the new principles he has adopted are something straight from the devil, but i dont think he is a bad person, everyone goes through fazes in their life and sometimes it takes years before it finally hits us and we realize how wrong we were.

 

There are people who are just not worth helping. It may sound cruel and selfish but it is true. Your attitude to help everyone is good, a few people have it nowadays, just do not let yourself be used by others, help only the people you consider are worth it.

 

i consider everyone worth helping, because i know deep down everyone has good in them, sometimes it just takes a while for that good in them to take root.

 

well i wont argue with you about it, only time will tell how things unfold with you.

 

It is a great and noble way of thinking, but let's agree to disagree. In my experience people who beg for help and do not have any intention to be better by themselves or aren't even grateful are not worth helping. Last person I tried to help kept making worse mistakes with no intention to change himself, in fact he thought the world around him should change just to please him.

 

wether they are or not is not the point, the thing is every kind act someone does for them will slowly collect in their heart, and one day all those good deeds people have done may open the door to the kindness in their heart, it may be when they are old and on their death bed, but aslong as there is a chance, i wont turn my back on anyone, unless of course its not within moral reasons, like a sexual favor or something of a vile nature.

 

You are a good person friend, keep it that way, there is already many too many bad folks.

 

thanks

 

It is possible to be both kind and also be able to say no, or draw boundaries around what we will or won't do for others. If he called at 11 p.m. and you didn't have time to help right then, it doesn't make you a mean person to say no. It also doesn't mean you won't ever help people in the future and it doesn't have to mean you get angry at others for even asking. You can't control what others do but you can control what you do.

If you struggle with setting boundaries with others (I do too, sometimes) it may mean you didn't learn about healthy boundaries as a child. So it's probably a good idea to get some help with how to do it. Maybe by reading about it or in therapy. This is a good article about healthy boundaries. According to the article, what happened possibly falls into the category of: a "psychological and emotional boundary violation … (by) trying to make you feel guilty or responsible for them or a situation, making demands of your time and energy."

Fightthedevil realized he was helping people too much and needed to protect himself better. Good job at taking the first step changing how you do things!

 

dude...you have no idea....what you did is 100% right. Be like that, man! Help when you think the other person deserves it, if not, you may choose not to help!

 

You shouldn't give a fuck.
You want equal reciprocation in the exchange because you're a giver. You feel used.
I'm the same.
90% of the time, I help others before myself. The other 10% is me finally learning to say "fuck no, you will not take advantage of me".
I'm going to say you made the right call by sticking to your core self & beliefs.
Ungrateful people suck the life out of you & make you waste precious energy give give giving, while they take take take.
What people don't understand about those of us that are natural givers in our lives, is that we put everybody but ourselves first. It is a monumental moment when we can say no to someone.

You should be proud of yourself, imo

 

I'm a ma'am
That's a good feeling, isn't it?!