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I will pray for you Krishna.
You are loved Krishna. it sounds like you are in a really dark place. Looking back at our conversations, the person you have hurt the most is...
Think deep krishna, whats that emotion? Name it bro.
That is what you want do... not how you feel, are you angry? sad? shamed? guilty?
How does this fantasy make you "feel"? Not want you want to do, but how you "feel" - what emotion? It is really important you try to name the...
Lets work through this together, I have experienced a similar thing to you, not the same, but similar, and I learned a great deal. Sex & Porn...
Taking care of you mum is such an amazing thing to do, could you tell me about that? what do you do to take care of her?
And do you take care of your mum as you promised?
"You failed to keep the promise"... What was the promise?
and how does that make you "feel" (emotion)