Amazing progress, mate. I’ve got a similar mechanism to track and plan my activities. I migrated it offline as I found it easier to edit on the app. Godspeed. Stay strong.
27/1/24 Saturday 1- Did I study? 14/17 Did I meet my study goals? 8/12 2- Did I read Quran? 17/18 Was it 1/4th Juz? Nope 4/7 3- Did I read at least 20 min? 9/17 4- Did I cover Course T? Did not attend class. Alhamdulillah ya rabb.
Done with 4th module. Time to eat, wind down and sleep 28/1/24 Sunday 1- Did I study? 15/18 Did I meet my study goals? 9/13 2- Did I read Quran? 18/19 Was it 1/4th Juz? 5/8 3- Did I read at least 20 min? 10/18 4- Did I cover Course T? No homework today. Finished reading a book Crossed a milestone in Project B Focused studying Productive evening Alhamdulillah ya rabb.
Only sleep if you know you can wake up for Fajr; otherwise, one should stay awake until he prays Fajr...And it would be a great initiative to add prayers in your to do list...it is just an advice...
29/1/24 Monday 1- Did I study? 16/19 Did I meet my study goals? 10/14 2- Did I read Quran? 19/20 Was it 1/4th Juz? 6/9 3- Did I read at least 20 min? 10/19 4- Did I cover Course T? 0/1 No “cross” because reading and course T are totally negotiable cos EXAMS OH MY GOD MY FINALS ARE IN TWO DAYS
I have decided to not do anything rn except sleep. My head is kinda spinning cos I am really sleep deprived When did my stamina get so low? Alhamdulillah. I have felt very alive today. 30/1/24 Tuesday 1- Did I study? 17/20 Did I meet my study goals? Not really 10/15 2- Did I read Quran? 20/21 Was it 1/4th Juz? Almostttt 7/10 3- Did I read at least 20 min? 10/20 Nope 4- Did I cover Course T? 0/2 Nope
Rain. So much rain. I just want to go outside and watch the rain. Listen to its sound. Let it reach my heart. Let it connect. I can feel the tug, the pull… except now is not the time. And please dear heart, now is not the time be missing someone. Stop thinking about him? Please? There’s no point? Sigh. Bismillah bismillah bismillah. FOCUS.
31/1/24 Wednesday 1- Did I study? 18/21 Did I meet my study goals? 11/16 2- Did I read Quran? 21/22 Didnt read with translation tho but alhamdulillah didnt disconnect Was it 1/4th Juz? 7/11 3- Did I read at least 20 min? 10/20 Nope 4- Did I cover Course T? 0/2 Nope Its been almost two months… I submit to you Allah. And I leave all matters to you. You are my King, my Creator, my Lover, my Protector. I ask you to bring ease to all of us. To settle the matters of our hearts. To forgive us and to have Mercy on us. Ameen.
I just realised something… Last time when I had exams, I had to give like 3 exams in one day cos I was covering up my lectures till the last moment which caused the delay and my exams got piled up This time though, the situation was worse in the sense the entire month of December, I couldn’t study because I had my nieces over and also had lotsa fam stuff going on. I started studying VERY late BUT, once I did, I made sure to meet study goals. Not every day of course but most of them. And I ended up covering my course one whole day before the exams started. This is huge progress for me. Of course, I still have many other struggles to deal with. But mainly, my goal this year to do more effective planning and more efficient implementation, if that makes sense. I really want to improve in that area where I am actually doing stuff and not just dreaming about accomplishing goals. Actually, wait, two aspects to this. 1- Not being afraid of taking initiatives. I get so many ideas and inspiration to do different things but for some reason, I feel like it’s not possible. I hesitate to take those steps. I feel either too afraid or as if, my ideas are not good enough. Since last year, I am trying to get better at this. Because of this, I have taken some initiatives already. Alhamdulillah. I even put it in my bullet journal and wrote it in big letters “Take new chances” hehe 2- Once I do commit, I don’t plan it properly OR I dont follow through the plan and thats where procrastination comes in. But procrastination has many different layers and angles to it. Consistency is super important and even in the eyes of Allah, deeds that are smaller but consistent are more dear to Him. So, that’s something to focus on this year inshallah. I will try to keep a closer eye on my thought processes especially in times when I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing. And inshallah, use my journal to reframe those thoughts. Active inner work is crucial for recovery and progress, be it in terms of PMO or some other area of life.
Alhamdulillah, I am going to sleep a couple hours and then complete this in the morning. So far 5/15 done. Alhamdulillah. 1/2/24 Thursday 1- Did I study? 19/22 Did I meet my study goals? Not really... 11/17 2- Did I read Quran? 22/23 Was it 1/4th Juz? Nope 7/12 3- Did I read at least 20 min? 10/20 Nope 4- Did I cover Course T? 0/2 Nope Subhanallah, it's Feb already!
I went to give the exam. Due to some technical issue, which has never happened in the history of this uni, the exam wouldnt submit. Showed up an error when I tried to submit it. Other students were facing the same issue so we talked to the supervisor. Nobody knew what exactly to do. So I refreshed. Tried again. Gave another attempt. Same result. More talk with the manager/supervisor, more time gone. I attempted it again. 3rd time. Same issue same result. Contacted uni, emailed, more talk with the management. Ultimately, after 2 hours, I had to leave. And soon, got an email that I will be contacted once the issue is resolved. By that time, I had missed out on 25 percent of my Friday class so I decided to not go there. Didn’t feel like it anymore. So, I drove around for 10-15 minutes, admiring the beauty around me. The amazing mountains. Beautiful sky. While listening to this really nice nasheed which is my current fav nowadays. Just love it. Eventually, got me self a snack and came back home. Overall a good reminder that ultimately, the outcome is ALWAYS in Allah’s hands. And I can’t do anything that He doesn’t want to happen. I did feel like a lot of my time was wasted but wasted sounds so negative. Time was just spent… a little here and a little there. Couldn’t give the exam nor go to my class. Maybe Allah wanted me to take a breath of fresh air which I truly enjoyed. Alhamdulillah ‘ala kulli haal.
2/2/24 Friday 1- Did I study? 20/23 Did I meet my study goals? 11/17 2- Did I read Quran? 23/24 Was it 1/4th Juz? Nope 7/13 3- Did I read at least 20 min? 10/20 Nope 4- Did I cover Course T? 0/2 Nope
3/2/24 Sat 1- Did I study? 21/24 Did I meet my study goals? 12/18 almost 2- Did I read Quran? 24/25 Was it 1/4th Juz? 8/14 3- Did I read at least 20 min? 10/21 Nope 4- Did I cover Course T? 0/2 Nope Learnt a new skill today. Had moments of feeling negative feelings/bad/uncomfortable. Realised it was just my own inner chaos and nothing to do with the relationship/other person. Ordered outside food after so so so many months and it was 55 percent regret, 45 percent benefit lol. After exams, the first thing I shall do is take a break from this site cos I am on here way too much. What can I say, it’s helping me cope. Alhamdulillah
Definitely need to find the time to check in with myself. I can feel negative emotions bubbling up and I know they are only popping up because I feel insecure. And why do I feel insecure? Because I am not in a strong place in regards to my relationship with my commitments/missions/projects which ultimately impacts my relationship with my Lord. Insecurity=lack of clarity. Insecurity=lack of stability. Gah, not expressing myself well. Wish I could put this all in one key principle. Can’t put it in words. Edit: and there are external triggers as well and if the inner state is weak, the external triggers exist and make an impact and of course, a negative impact. But… even on those days when the inner state is strong, it doesn’t mean I let myself expose to that potential external trigger 24/7. Distance is important to ensure the perseverance of one’s own inner state. Structure is important to endure I allow myself to breath. To ensure my inner self doesn’t get meddled up with someone else’s ideas and opinions. To ensure my own identity is preserved. And of course, if on one hand I am being more aware of what could potentially cause confusion within myself, on the other hand, I must stay connected to the source of my identity. To the being who gave me that identity. Does that make sense?
I think it does because I feel better inside alhamdulillah. Definitely helped to declutter something. And physically, I finally had my shot of caffeine so brain is working. Alhamdulillah Also… heart feels better and clear but is also missing a friend. The friend that had entered the closest circle to my heart. I get the love/feelings part. But what to do when you just miss a really close friend? Like, it’s different. Idk, but it feels like a different thing to deal with. Not sure if I am making sense.
