Learn from it, don't beat yourself up over it, it just wastes time and energy. Remember things that trigger you and stay away from them. The list will probably grow, but that is part of learning. Never be afraid to ask or reach out for help like you did here. Someone might be able to help, before you slip.
I have told many other person before I came here to let them know what I did.because I really want better!!!
Keep learning and make a plan on how to beat this. There is a lot of experience here, use it to your advantage.