The day counter that NoFap offers can be a help to building a new life without PMO or however you choose to frame your goal. Like all metrics of success, it is not a perfect aid and I think at certain times in a reboot, it can create a problem born of perspective. So many of us, me included, recall our longest streaks and fear the day when we approach a previous personal best. I think I viewed this something like running a race and when I crossed the tape, I was jubilant, ready to celebrate but also weary and for these reasons my guard came down and I relapsed. It was as if there was a limited extent to the days of freedom I could achieve. However, there is no magic to round numbers of days. Ten, Twenty, Ninety, One hundred - Do these numbers have a power unto themselves/ Are they finish lines in an endurance race? Of course they are not. I suggest that a better way to view the day counter is not like a race with a finish line but rather like a bridge across a massive chasm. Each day of success is another bolt, another wire, another beam, another building block, towards a loving close relationship with God. Each day of success is another day bolstering good habits of choosing purity over sin and taking time to pray fervently with God. I don't suggest that we should not reset a counter when we fall for it is vital to be honest with ourselves and the group here. Each of us are free to use the counter as best it supports our goals and for some of us, it may not be a support at all. However, in hopes it is helpful to others, I offer a perspective where the counter is not seen as a step in a race (which implies a finish line) but rather a building block against a fall. Every day of success represents a strengthening of good habits and one step closer to the person God lovingly hopes for us to be.
I have said before that the only day that matters in recovery is today, and I believe that is true. Today is the only day where we can operate and make choices, so we must make each one count. But it is also true that the stockpile of successful days does strengthen us and increase our capacity for right action. It becomes a habit, replacing the old, unhelpful ones. This is a great good.
Just saw this having ranted about the counter a bit just now in my journal. Really like it. Thank you. In a sense today is the only day that matters because it is the day going on now and the only one I can act in. But also, each day of sobriety is a step that actually gets me somewhere, amazingly, wonderfully. We're never standing still. We're always becoming more like what we worship. I wonder where I might be by the time I die? Will I be a slobbering, jibbering, self-massaging pornography slave, or will I be the fullest version of myself I can be in Christ?
