I had sex with a woman yesterday. Me and a friend were looking for a place to get a massage, and lets just say the place we found was not legit. After the deed was done I felt great shame, as if I had defiled myself completely. I could not become hard during the encounter and my penile sensitivity is almost non-existent from years of over-masturbating. I feel like I am screwed for life and the damage I have done cannot be fixed. How will I ever be able to find a wife knowing I could never please her?
I don't know what to say. I am not in a good place either. But reading some promises in the bible has given me some comfort. "Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, Who walks in his ways. When you eat the labor of your hands, you shall be happy and it shall be well with you." -Psalm 128:1-2 What I got from this is that there is hope. Things can be turned around, it can be well with me and you. There is a condition to the promise, and I believe that can be fulfilled through the working of the holy spirit.
There is a lot more to pleasing a wife than doing so physically. If you become the sort of man who she wants to be with in the first place, the physical stuff will work itself out. So, first, focus on character. There is always hope for change, but the days are growing short. Best to get started right away, for we are not promised tomorrow.
If those who murdered Jesus were offered forgiveness, you can be sure that forgiveness is available for you, too. You are only 25 years old. You have a lot of life ahead of you--if the Lord wills. Some of us have been addicted for 25+ years. Now is a good time to deal with this addiction.
