Just sort of ranting here. Pmo definitely re-wired my brain and made me addicted but in the last year I've started to have longer & longer binges (maybe 6,7 8 hrs or whatnot) The after effects of these is I feel somewhat ok for a couple hours and then for 24 hours or so my brain is like jittery and I really have extreme anxiety & scary inability to concentrate. At the end of workday often afraid to go home (since I live alone & afraid to pmo). Starting to affect my job which is honestly one of the only things I have left. So frustrating cause I can go a week & it's such a huge personal accomplishment. And then just relapse hard and all progress totally gone.
I had long binges too. I "solved" it by automatically cutting off internet after midnight and also automatically shutting down my desktop computer using a smart plug because I noticed those heavy binges were at night. And I concur, those long binges were the worst for my mental state. 8h every 3 days is much worst than an hour a day imo.
Those binges are awful. I already know those feelings of poor concentration, terrible. Binge is a total mess with your streak, even if you don't fap to it. I hope you could overcome it, no matter what we watch/search, any kind of binge is a step closer to a relapse and a step away from the reboot
Man it's hard to explain. I have been addicted to p and feel bad afterwards for a long time. But this is like a wave of shame, total failure and anxiety. My mind and hands kinda shaky. My dopamine receptors just shot. My eyes and brain are just exhausted. It's scary. Obviously totally unmotivated or energy to do anything. Everything seems pointless for like 24 hours.
Yeah I think cutting off all electronic devices is gonna be only answer for me. Just blocking p sites won't do it with triggers everywhere online.
It is hard to describe, so I can relate. It feels like my head has weird sensations inside that I've ever experienced in my life and I get confused frequently. I have a lost of train of thought and I can get nervous quite easily. As for describing how dopamine receptors are 'shot', I'd say frequent boredom is a real issue.
Honestly what it is is dopamine receptors are completely exhausted so you can't feel any pleasure in anything. And then on top of that is anger and shame with myself. And I'm just exhausted. I don't really know what ADHD feels like. I've always had addiction with pmo but this is entirely different and definitely messing with my head literally. I'm trying to get more proactive with real help. I hope you find help too man.
That makes a lot of sense. I think the ADHD symptoms would be better described as 'attention span issues' or rather 'attention deficits'.
