~950 Days of SR - Part 1: Women Are Vanishing from my Life

At this point in my SR/Abstinence journey -- a little over 2 1/2 years since I last busted a load -- I thought a short series of posts might be in order for any who have made it this far or who aspire to.

You may think the title odd and even opposite of how SR is "supposed" to work based on the thousands of YouTube clips and articles out there. The true fact is that through no doing of my own, women have been systematically disappearing from my life. The most significant being my wife last fall (death from cancer), followed in the last 6 months by ghostings by three different women with whom I had had good friendships and even some indications of interest. Even my gym has turned into a sausage fest.

This is not to complain or look for sympathy in any way. But with all the noise out there promising "insane female attraction" yada yada, I feel it is important that men who are on or considering this path understand that it can trigger some unexpected reactions from women you already know -- without you even telling them what you're doing -- so don't go into this unless you are prepared for a significant reset to your social life and a potential long dry spell.

That being said, I have also in the past few months come to some new insights -- and even some success -- as far as creating attraction in women and carrying through good interactions. That will be the topic of Part 2.

Meanwhile, brothers, stay strong and don't buy all the hype of SR magically manifesting smoking hot, sweet and submissive young women into your life. SR brings many benefits (to be covered in Part 3) but not without costs, of which at least some of your current relationships with women is likely to be one.

 

Please accept my heartfelt condolences on the passing of your beloved wife. I will be following your journey and looking forward to parts 2 and 3 of this thread.

 

Sorry for the loss of your wife.
I should probably not post here since I don't believe there are any real benefits to SR. I think there may be some placebo psychological benefits, but at a very steep cost. Sex is great when having it with a partner and we are wired to have sex often.
I would like to see your part 3 to see what benefits you gained from SR.
Best of luck on your journey, if you like SR, by all means go for it.

 

Thank you to those who have replied with condolences. Re-entry has been quite the adventure but my faith and a tremendous team around me are getting me through. Part 2 will be up by this weekend.

 

Think of this as a good thing. Unless you want a woman. You are probably being called to a higher spiritual calling - a masculine spiritual calling. Sometimes to polarize ourselves, we have to separate for a time to charge up the Polarization.

 

Yes I'm starting to get the impression that is what's happening.

 

Interesting perspective… what about negative effects from PMO/MO? I notice after a relapse, I feel a strong anxiety and really fearful and nervous easily… also, can’t fall asleep after PMO

do you think this is purely psychological?

also, for a reference point, I had a nocturnal emission last two nights ago, and didn’t feel any bad side effects, except being tired and groggy the next day

 

Sorry OP… for your loss…

well, maybe something will change in the future, will be interesting to see if there is a massive change of events at some point

 

This is my opinion only, but the Porn in PMO is bad. It's addictive, and any addiction is going to be unhealthy for the addicted person. MO, that's a tricky one. MO in moderation is alright, if you have a healthy and happy sex life with a partner the urge or need to MO is minimal. If you are without a partner or your partner no longer wants to have sex, than MO in moderation is fine.

We are wired as a species to procreate for 100,000 years. The drive to have sex is strong and natural. If someone doesn't have a partner they will still have a strong sex drive, I can't see any harm in MO as long as it's not a compulsive habit.

As far as the anxiety, fear, nervousness, that you feel after a relapse, I believe most of that is you feeling guilty. If you didn't care you wouldn't have any of those feelings. It can't be from the O, or nobody would want to O. So its from feeling guilty about the PMO or MO.

Congratulations on the wet dream, that was your body getting rid of some serious sexual energy and you can feel 100% guilt free since you had no control over it.

FYI - I think guilt is a worthless emotion. If you do the right things, there is no reason to feel guilty.

Good luck, none of this is easy.
Nomo