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Am I straight, bi or gay?

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Straus, Jul 13, 2019.

  1. Straus

    Straus Fapstronaut

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    I only had dreams and fantasize about girls. Never with men. But the thing is that bi sex really turns me on.
     
  2. rafael33

    rafael33 Fapstronaut

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    Definitely not. I am sure he isn’t gay but maybe bi.

    Exactly. I am bi and I know how it feels. When I was 14 I fall in love with a girl and a few months later with a school mate. It’s wonderful to have erotic feelings for girls and for boys as well.

    Unfortunately a lot of people are homophobic. They don’t want to accept they might be bisexual. Best is to make the No.PMO-journey for some weeks or months, to get rid of porn addiction completely and then find out, what kind of relationship you want to have.
     
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  3. Straus

    Straus Fapstronaut

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    Ok i do nofap now. Because this checking leads to nothing, sometimes i got aroused to gay stuff sometimes not.
     
  4. Straus

    Straus Fapstronaut

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    But before that all started i was never interested in mens, only in womens.
    If i had bisexual tendencies why i cant realize that earlier.
     
  5. Straus

    Straus Fapstronaut

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    What i can tell is that straight and gay stuff or nearly all genres of porn makes me hard. But i never had a crush on a guy or i had the desire to have a relationship with a man. I only have this with girls. Maybe the arousal is caused by the porn addict, maybe not. The only way to see that is to do nofap and the reboot to clean my brain of this porn shit.
     
  6. Straus

    Straus Fapstronaut

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    But why i am now getting more aroused to gay stuff compared to a few months before. I check me since a year and the most time i didnt get aroused. Now the most time i get aroused. I just want my old life back and not this here, but every morning i wake up with the question in my head am i gay?. I start to hate myself.
     
  7. Straus

    Straus Fapstronaut

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    I hate this shit. If i tell to me i am straight my head says no, if i tell me i am bi my head says no. I dont know what i believe anymore and who am i.
     
  8. @Straus ... I think you need to ... RELAX. Try this: You are everything. And that is ok.
     
  9. youliveyoulearn

    youliveyoulearn Fapstronaut

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    Everyone experiences this during hard fap periods because of unbalanced brain chemistry.

    Your reproductive organs don't feel a natural need to reproduce but your brain looking for an easy dopamine dose forces them, looking for triggers like BDSM, gay porn and so on.

    Give it a rest, stop questioning and you'll be fine.
     
  10. Straus

    Straus Fapstronaut

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    So this was my last checking for ever. I masturbated to women got aroused. I masturbated to men and was not aroused. I dont do this anymore, i hate that shit. I will do nofap 90 days from now on. After that i will see which gender i really desire
     
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  11. It might just be the taboo of the type of porn you dive into. Just a fantasy that you wont play out in real life. The more and more you get off to it. It is training your mind to want it.
    Long story short, years ago, i also started watching gay porn and got off to it. I had fantasies about being with a man and was wondering what was happening because i had no interest in dating a guy at all. But, i wanted to try something. I wanted to try it in person and met some dude from the internet that was close to my town. I tried to see if I'd get aroused or attracted to another man and well i was definitely not and just plain didn't want to after trying somethings with him....didn't work.
    Also i was feeling grossed out afterwards just like everytime i nutted to gay porn.
     
  12. Straus

    Straus Fapstronaut

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    Today is my first day of nofap. No checking, no porns, no masturbating for 90 days.

    But yesterday i saw a guy on a video and i became a little panic attack. My heart become much faster and i was scared and nervous that i had a crush on this guy.
    I had this situation a few months ago about a classmate of mine. I saw a picture of him and boom. The same panic attack comes over me like yesterday, but then if i saw him in the school nothing happened no feelings.

    Yesterday after that panic attack I closed my eyes and imagined to habe romantic relationship with a girl, to kiss, to lie next to her, to touch her and have sex with her. I got aroused a little bit and the scary becomes much lesser, it was a nice feeling. Then i imagined the same with the men of the video and scary becomes much more now and my heart beats also much faster.
     
  13. Straus

    Straus Fapstronaut

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    So today its was better. I try not to think so much about that topic. My body will tell me in the end what he desires. I only had crushes on girls so far. It was a nice feeling that i enjoy when i fantasized about that girls, not like this scary or fear feelings like today in the morning. If i get a crush on a guy later, then ok, but everything is better than this obsessive thinking and analyze.
     
    kammaSati likes this.
  14. verbeek75

    verbeek75 Fapstronaut

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    First please stop thinking in 3 boxes of hetro, bi and gay. that is just societies easy way trying to explaining sexuality, real life has a ton of varieties and other boxes in between those. You can be hetroflexible, hetro bicurious, gay bicurious, gayflexible, pansexual, etc..

    If you are on the beach and you see a nice girl with big tits and first instinct is I would like to play or suck on those tits, but when you see guy and your first instinct are not I want to play and suck on those pecks, you probably straight or you fall anywhere between straight and bi if you do have gay fantasies.
    Would like you like to spend the rest of your life with a woman or a man, long term thoughts are normally different then just a casual sex thing. But then again everyone is different, there is no rush in making a decision anyway. Why should you, life can be hard enough.

    Second being a cuckold or humiliation has nothing to do about being bi or gay, cuckold is just the pleasure of your partners being with someone else and there are many variations of this, and humiliation could just mean you would like to have a dominant partner and you would like a submissive role. Maybe you see the gay variation on cuckold as the ultimate submission, but that doesn't mean you are bi or gay, it's about submission. But all this can just be a fantasy thing, we are influenced by to much porn. Someone elses fantasy does not have be the same for you, or you try to make it fit for yourself.

    Fantasy is sometimes better to stay a fantasy also as the real thing could never match it. You want to experiment, fine, think well about it, when you do decide on it, you don't need to regret it, see as it as life experience.

    Also just because the 1st time was not good doesn't mean much, my first time with a girl was horrible. We both were way to nervous, and I think I'm not the only one, just because the first time it was horrible with a girl it doesnt mean I'm immediatly gay, just had to experience girls, learn about them and myself to really enjoy sex with a girl. What your sexuality is, sometimes you just know at young age other times we just need to get older and experience life, everyone is different.

    I have had similar to same fantasies and doubts as you have by the way and have done a lot of soul searching and experimenting to figure myself out, so I understand where your doubts are coming from. Trying to heal myself from my addiction and its really hard.

    Short anwer is, I think you are straight, and can enjoy bi or gay fantasies. Thats it, no more. About the submissive fantasy guess you need to do some soul searching yourself. Could the fantasies come from your addiction, most likely,yes. Maybe nothing wrong about having fantasies, everyone has them, the thing that we need to heal are our obsessions.

    Take your time, that is what time is for. At least that is what I'm telling myself as I'm going through a really rough period myself.
    Sorry for rambling a bit here, just needed to distract my mind for a little while.
     
  15. Straus

    Straus Fapstronaut

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    I just cant understand why now. My whole life i thought i was straight and was happy with that. Now if i tell to me i am straight it doesnt feel right anymore.
     
  16. verbeek75

    verbeek75 Fapstronaut

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    reading your first post,

    I masturbated to gay porn and didnt get aroused. But then there was an anxiety and i checked again again and again till i get aroused to gay stuff.

    This really feels like inprinting yourself to like gay stuff under influence of porn addiction, been there done that.

    Your whole life, seriously, you just started your adult life, around this time you probably are already having a ton of other questions regarding your future life, probably far more important then having to make a decision about sexuality.
    Also if you are bi so what, if you wish to have a healthy relationship, like marriage later, when you fall in love with someone man or woman, you will probably will wish to be with that person for the rest of your life. If its a woman you will have a normal straight relationship, being bi doesn't mean anything, unless your planning to become a cheater and never being monogamous, same the other way around. We don't pick who to fall in love with, it just happens.
    Sure your young, hormones, etc, learning about yourself takes time, if you want to experiment with both, that up to you just don't think that you will find the answer that easy. I know of serveral people around me that only found out that they were bi/gay at age 40/50 and even one at age 62.
    Maybe a comment from a friend of mine from a few years ago, he has had sex with men before, so I presumed he was bi, his comment was no, I'm straight I love women and wish to have a lasting relationship with them, but like occasional sex with men. If you want to classify me, then I'm a straight man that likes to have occasional sex with men, thats how I see myself. I decide which box it is I fit in, not someone else, and there is nothing wrong with me. Honestly I was like okay, yeah right, but now I understand it.

    You say, Now if i tell to me i am straight it doesnt feel right anymore. Don't forget you have a porn addiction that has a lot of influence on you. Next time you fall in love, maybe that will help you, no rush, it just happens anyway. I can tell you straight up when you get older you get to understand that now doesn't mean much.

    My advise, at your age you probably working out a lot on other stuff, maybe try focus on those, also work on this horrible addiction that we have. you have a whole future in front of you, no one knows what tomorrow brings let alone 30 years from now. Stop being obsessed about other things we have no influence on, sure easier said then done, I know. I was messed up myself, got fixed and now I'm messed up again.
     
  17. Straus

    Straus Fapstronaut

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    Great post. Its my 4th day without porn. Its hard to resist that urge but i will get it I know. If i am straight, bi or gay will show me the time.
     
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  18. Keep up your streak! You are doing great. Just don't look at porn and don't worry of what sexual orientation you are. Whatever you happen to enjoy is you. You also might be programming your arousal by watching gay porn. The more and more you watch a certain genre, the more your brain wants it. When you watch straight porn and then switch over to gay porn while still turned on, that is wiring your sensory.
     

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