35 and Older Accountability Group

Thanks for the encouragement, yes your right. It’s only in hindsight now I realise that just MO was not near as bad as the whole lot wound of been. I’ve always found it easier to fast early with IF. Well done on your progress!

 

I came super close to PMO today. I actually started to watch some porn but stopped after a couple minutes. No masturbation or orgasm. I'm actually really glad that it happened, actually. I dont think I've ever started to watch porn and stopped without cumming. This tells me that I am really maturing in this endevour. I'm currently on day 12 and I desperately want to achieve 90 days (and beyond). I am a musician and I've heard that there are several amazing benefits from nofap and noPMO, that result in higher levels of artistix creativity. I really want to experience that!
Also.... last Friday I was finally able to achieve orgasm through normal intercourse with my girlfriend! Huge achievement.
I think today's motivation to turn off the porn was due to all these motivating, driving forces. I'm super stoked!

 

Why are we doing this?

 

Epic fail fellas....day 1.

 

Hahahahaha "epic fail"
I laughed the shit out of me...
Keep trying dude

 

Well done. I’m determined to do 90 days, relapsing and starting again is too much work.

 

@Rebooter13

 

jajaja it is. One of the biggest reasons I don´t fall, I think of reseting that counter, no thanks!

 

Anyone on kik? Can create a group up to 50 people

 

Hi everyone, just checking in with my progress. I’m actually doing pretty well, feeling much better with four days no PMO. I feel like I’ve got over the inertia that I felt after starting this current push for 90, it was really tough the first couple of days to get going, my head kept telling me I should be on 37 days. Anyway I’m back in the grove, good nutrition, exercise, 12 step meetings for various addictions. Making sure to connect with people, pick up the phone, go for a coffee, speak about my feelings, and be there for myself. Medatation, prayer ( non religious), gratitude list daily, was doing cold baths twice a day but stopped as was a little under the weather. Keeping it in the day and doing the next right action. Personally for me I’m treating this like any other addiction, i am totally powerless over PMO and I surrender to that fact, I can’t control it and the only way forward is entire abstinence. By admitting I have a problem I can work on the solution and not get caught up in any bs about this time it will be different or this time I will control it, or I will only do it once a week, or maybe I can edge, or maybe it wasn’t that bad, or any other lie my inner addict will tell me is a good reason to start again.

I hope all you guys are doing well and staying strong.

 

Update.

After my urge on the 7th day Its been mostly easy sailing for me. I find reading this forum and answering peoples questions helps me a lot to get my mind into service instead of seeking pleasure.

However, there are strange random impulses here and there to look up certain fetishes - especially as I read here there are so many people having all kinds of strange desires part of my mind is always curious as to what that is and wants to google it 'just to see'. which I know its total BS.

I'm feeling very grounded, I don't have morning woodies and strong erections and I'm happy about it because i feel my sexual energy is being used in the right way and the energy is flowing to all higher centers better -

I started Win-Hof method again recently and really love the breath work and cold exposure.

Moods have been up and down, some hopeless moments and some really intense angry moments but followed with a day of clarity and total confidence, so I'm observing all the range of emotions like the colors of the rainbow - they come and go.

Sticking to vegetarian diet 80% vegan has been also helping.

PS. @artifact - Just want to acknowledge the effort and time your putting in this thread and enforcing the rules to helping us to remain on track - it helps alot. thank you

 

Hi guys. Not a very good day. It was a very good day, good things happened, but it was a little hard for me to feel them. I appreciate them and see them, but... I saw my ex girlfriend today... and it just... its still hard... its been a long time since we broke up, almost two years, and is still hard for me, PMO and other addictions were in there and I was just very unbalanced, well I guess you know the whole thing, It was just hard. Im still strong, not falling, keeping my faith up, just sharing.

 

Great man - so now you have some residual leftover feelings that you can observe come up with equanimity and not react to them and transcend them - I find what helps me with my ex-girlfriend situations is to keep them in prayer after my meditations - So the process i use is this, after morning/night meditation in that state of calmness I do the Mettavana meditation which is intended to develop loving-kindness and compassion (which are the best anti-anxiety/loneliness medicine)

I learned this from my mentor S.N Goenka and then I added another piece to it. I'll share it with you if you like

I do my meditation for my set duration - for me meditation starts after 30 minutes and real calmness occurs during the 55+minute mark or beyond.

Then in that calmness I get comfortable and start to speak out words of loving-kindness towards Me, Those I love and Those I Don't Love or Offend me.

So it can go like this...

"May I be free from all the anger, hatriatee, ill will and animosity, May I develop love, wisdom, compassion towards all beings. Maybe more peaceful, more wise, more self-controlled, May I be of greater service and enjoy real peace, real harmony and real happiness.

next others I love

"May my mom, dad, sister, and family be free from all their inner suffering, the cravings for the things they dont have and the aversions over the things they dont like, may they be truely free...

Next include friends, or whoever you feel like sending love to...

Now this is the part I added which I really like

I think of the people who i hold small resentments towards such as people who don't respond back to my msgs or friends who I feel some impurity towards such as lust or jealousy or hate, and i hold them in mind and I literally send them love and wish them all the good that i want for myself.

I may say

"I forgive you for whatever you have done for me and I choose to love you unconditionally, May you be truely happy, may all your pain and suffering be diminished and enjoy real peace and happiness..."

I can not describe how good this meditation feels - it literally uplifts you to a whole new level and fills you with the vibrations of good will and compassion - and from there you will go to sleep feeling amazing and in mornings you go through the day feeling really good.

sometimes when you meet the people you have been sending love towards you will notice as if they have secretly heard you and there is a new level of intimacy present.

You can try it if you like

 

Unfortunately I slipped up last night.
I used MO again. I did it once and refuse to binge like last time, I will be vigilant because I know that chaser effect will hit me over the next couple of days. I’m very grateful I didn’t use porn, 39 days now. Back on day zero of my PMO goals. I will recover.

 

Thanks for sharing. Very useful information.

 

Relapsing to MO is a night and day different than relapsing to P. MO is body's natural need to express sexuality when P leaves many images and visuals in the mind and it causes suffering to other beings through the porn industry.

I'm not familiar for the reasons you are doing this - but from my perspective, MO is normal and natural - except if your in the process of rebooting your brain and you really want to be celibate for some time - then It is a worthy goal.

I say this because in the Buddhist tradition - the monks (those who have renounced worldly life and don't touch money and live in monestry) are the only group who are asked to avoid all sexual experiences and ejaculation. However, the lay people who are the householders are allowed to masturbate and have sexual experiences so long as it doesn't cause harm to other beings.

If you are not at the stage of development to transmute your sexual energy through breath work and focus and meditation and other means, then masturbation may be the most loving thing you can do to avoid other issues that can happen. Sexuality is a strong energy and it needs alot of respect and wisdom - we can't bulldoze our way to abstinence. Just my perspective