Dear Men Fapstronauts, I want to personally thank all the men out there that are wanting to recover from their PMO. I admit, I have been prejudiced for most of my life, thinking men are all dirty minded and wanting to use women for own pleasure (an obvious fallacy, where I used my personal experiences with men to dominate my opinion of them). Through my short time here, I have encountered so many sensitive and truly genuine men of all ages and from around the world! This shouldn't have surprised me, but it did. With that being said, I want to say how deeply sorry I am for discriminating against you, merely because you are a man. I want to apologize, also, in lieu of any woman that has hurt you or has deeply wounded you. Please, forgive me, forgive her, whoever she, who hurt you, may be. I know that I am deeply encouraged by all the men out there that are taking the steps in order to become a man that loves and cherishes women for their character. I am learning how to love you, my brothers. And here on NoFap, you guys are making it so much easier to love you. Keep strong and fight like the warriors you are! I wish you all the best! Love, Leanne
It's all good, Leanne. I honestly have to say the same about myself. I'm still learning about how to properly treat a woman and appreciate all the real qualities of her. Definitely being here, I'm being exposed to good examples of women and men. This is a very healthy environment where myths and lies about gender are put to rest. It's been a journey, but everyday I'm learning that we're both human and have the same thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Thank you, Leanne for even being an example to me! From a fapstronaut to a femstronaut, I thank you..
This is fantastic. We need to hear from women how they feel about the whole issue. Are they also into P? Or is this just a man thing. Is there anything we have done that lead them into it? We all are victims of the way we were brought up. Leanne we need your input. I am sure many wives will be able to help their husbands, boyfriends to get out of this addiction.
I don't think you need to apologise for curing your backwards mindset. Especially one prevalent in mainstream media and pop culture. Most girls think the same about guys. And PMO-ridden men deem all women as impossibly complicated and unattainable. It's swings and roundabouts, homie.
Thank you for your reply. Yes, women are into p also. For various reasons. For me,I was abused when I was younger, so I think I went to it to relive my abuse. Though there are, from talking to my sisters here on nofap, some women who do it simply for pleasure as well. I don't think men have done more than what women have done to lead us to porn. It's our choices, you know? No matter what our past was like, we have the choice to do something or not to.
I was thinking about your comment @Leanne, but I cannot work out why you would seek to relive a traumatic life event.
Yeah it doesn't make sense at all. But, as one fapstronaut said to me the other day, it's like I'm trying to relive it so this time I can control what happened to me, if that makes sense?
Thanks. I may have a problem with P, but in real life I always treat women with respect and courtesy and whenever I hear of women in relationships being mistreated it angers me. Men who are manipulative, abusive or disrespectful to women aren't real men, they are cowardly viruses on the earth.
I am the same way. My porn addiction never took me down the road of objectification of women. My therapist was very surprised. I do not walk thru the mall checking out all the ladies while thinking dirty thoughts like so many do. I might notice an attractive woman but it always ended there. I was raised by a single mother who taught me to treat women with respect and always be a gentleman. Which is why I never could get into bdsm. Even in my personal sex life, my wife likes to be spanked during sex but I cannot do it. I cannot hit a woman even for her pleasure.
I forgive you. I love men who defend women when they can't themselves. Thank you for using your strength in a way that honors others! I love this quote! Is it yours? I totally agree. Again, thank you for making it that much easier to love men. You're using your strength to build others up, and I feel honored by men like you. Best wishes to you each.
This is probably the sweetest and heart touching post I ever read on NoFap. I'm rooting for your speedy recovery sister.
I read it in a book about supporting homosexuals from my religion. I can't say where it came from exactly, but I love how it applies to everybody!
Hey Leanne This makes a lot of sense - been doing a ton of research into the effects and impacts of child sexual abuse since my wife's first flashbacks of being raped as a 12 yr old. We came across some great books to help understand and heal - The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis, and Thoughts and Feelings by Matthew McKay et al are both hugely useful. But Peggy Oliveria's youtube channel is the single best resource we've come across on this journey. Wish you all strength and peace.
Thanks so much Leanne Thanks for having faith in us men and being so encouraging, it means a lot. I certainly aspire to be an upright man, and enjoy a marriage to a virtuous woman. It is hard to guess what women think of me, so thankyou for sharing. While it is sadly true that many men fit the stereotype you used to believe, This is very largely in part because of the prevelance of pornography in todays over sexual culture. The NoFap is going against the grain though, enabling individuals to rediscover the beauty and mystery of true love. Again, thanks for being so honest, and here's to everyone on here making a difference.